things got turned around somehow
bitten planets make stars sink
into the horizon line
and leaf shapes in white
are all that cover my eyes,
dozens of them
without reason for taking you away now
why have you gone away now?
you who conquered so much
for paper and fabric --
where is your future?
it won't stop flying
A contest entry
- honestly by emma....
3200 points, ended November 8, 41 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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wow this is amazing poem . it has beautiful flow . i realy enjoyed reading this
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ill echo up tylers complain about the away nows. it was a little awkward to read over.
the rest is so cryptic i hesitated to comment before giving it a good dozen reads.
"bitten planets make stars sink
into the horizon line
and leaf shapes in white
are all that cover my eyes,
dozens of them "
maybe, im missing something, but i dont know what the hell most of thats supposed to mean. please enlighten me.
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i didn't like the repetition of "now" - i would suggest editing that area. other than that, this is simple, but this is one of those poems that needs to be. i enjoyed it, so thanks for entering.
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this has the most beautiful flow.
it reads so swiftly that it feels as though it slips through your eyes as you pass each word. it has such easy motion to it.
also i love the lyrical flow. it reads almost like a song-poem. i don't know how else to explain it. great piece.
hope you win!!!
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you who conquered so much
for paper and fabric --
wow.
this is beautiful
thank you so much for entering.
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"bitten planets make stars sink/ into the horizon line"- Favorite stanza.
As always, beautifully done. Keep up the great work. -Liz
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and leaf shapes in white
are all that cover my eyes,
dozens of them
That is perfect. I love this. I give you hugs. -hugs are given to you by me-
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