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Shatter



 shards of white
sparkle
foreshadow frost

days from now
long after pieces
are discarded

wrapped
in yesterday’s news
remnants will hide

under the fridge
tucked in a corner
reminders

his upset
over a plate
slipped from fingers

 

 

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Cat gold member
    November 18
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    don't you wonder why some things cause such reaction
    spilled milk, shattered glass,
    the non-consequence on our lives and yet we react
    in such a way .. sad..

    i like this.. thank you


  • divebar
    November 4

    Edit | Reply
    yeah. youre going to the favorites list. its always great when writing has impact without being about being about some suicide or an electra complex. lol

    particularly enjoyed

    "wrapped
    in yesterday’s news
    remnants will hide

    under the fridge
    tucked in a corner"

  • bballer21
    November 2

    Edit | Reply
    wow, i really enjoyed this poem. i like the choice of words here. it was a bit short, but i still loved it. there is a true hidden meaning to this, that many could probably not find. but as long as this speaks to you, good job. keep on continuing to write! ~~ allie.

  • abu nuwas
    October 28

    Edit | Reply

    Hmmm.....

    Form seems so nice, but broken plate so pointless, although it could refer to some guy who threw his toys out of the pram and whacked the writer, for what we know. There is something quintessentially poetic about shards, and frost -- I wonder what it appeals to in us?


  • Blah Blah Blah
    October 27

    Edit | Reply
    Yoda, this poem reminded me of!


  • cvillelisa
    October 21

    Edit | Reply


    Couldn't see where this was going -- which is very cool. Good pacing. You might look when and if you revisit flipping S1 and 2.

    "shards of white" seems slightly tired, for me, for an opening.

    Good luck in the contest.

    Lisa


  • just rob gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Well done. Deceptively simple, but it keeps one chewing on the nuance. Well done, my old friend.


  • Edie gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    Of all that I have read in this contest, this is one of 2 that really standout to me.
    I am reminded of corelle...which just totally shatters when dropped just at the wrong angle.

    The very best of luck to you in the contest.


  • Night Hope gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply

    You fulfill the declaration of "extraordinary" on a regular basis, Jan. Hmmm. This reminded me of some gorgeous crystal glasses I had that belonged to my grandmother. My younger brother insisted on using them, and of course, he eventually broke every single one. He wept after the last one shattered, but they could not be salvaged in the least. Sometimes, it's more than merely dinnerware, and cannot be replaced. Good luck in Mary's contest, Scribe.


  • tara wilson gold member
    October 20
    Edit | Reply


  • Rowan gold member
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    You should call this Corningware. lol. I had ths happen just a few days ago, and I'm still finding pieces! This was very well written though, loved the 'foreshadow frost' adds just the right amount of expectancy. yep. Good work jan.

1 - 15 of 15