cruel summer

June 16

dear journal,


damn i never write in this thing,
summer started today!
can't wait,
once dad comes back from his
business trip,
we can go fishing..

and hunting,
oh yes thats fun!





June 17

dear journal,

dad comes back tommorow!
hes the best dad in the world!
(**)
!{}! (**)
L  L -{}-



June 25

dear journal,

back from the funeral,
how could this have happened?





July 19


all i see is me,
lost without a trace,

never feel a moment,
without picturing his face,

what is this world
if all we are ,
is reflections of a
land afar...?

take me there
so i can see,
my two fathers
that made me..




July 20


poetry is gay.
its stupid
but it keeps me up at night...

dear journal,

what am i?
where is the answer?
will i die? how soon?
please answer.

i don't want to live,
life's a boring game
see your life, your fame,
hope they never forget the name?
        is that what this is?
a fight to be known?
these people? the seeds,
the world that we've grown..


make me the last element,
what makes the world stick...

then ill stay on this earth and
  live with the rich..

the people who taught you that
  clocks only tick..

dont see the how time can stop when you breath,
and see with your eyes close and simply believe..
    take me to heaven
ill dine with the best,

                try not to give up,
when my palm's on my chest.







August 1


i went to the pastor today,

mom caught me with the pills





August 8

School starts in a week

i dont think im ready




August 13


this is it?


all you have,


with arms wide open


i am man...

its all i am,
no match to you,

or Lord,
just let me live with you,


and abandon this unhealthy skin,

so i can die and live again.