Breathe in the lotus
And see what it has shown us.
Wake up in this Magic Garden.
Think and live freely forevermore.
See this stream,
The water, like my thoughts,
Flows freely along its path,
Stopped by nothing.
The rapids, the fire in my heart.
The calm, my greatest serenity.
The depths, where I keep my greatest thoughts.
You stand along the banks,
Throwing in pebbles,
Laughing and playing like a child,
Your innocence is worth while.
What did you think
Comments
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ooooow this is great and i just love the title......
'Breathe in the lotus
And see what it has shown us.
Wake up in this Magic Garden.
Think and live freely forevermore.'
what better opening is there then this, great job!


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Thanks man!
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The last lines are sooo Cool! Loved your poem. You described it very well. Wonderful imagination and superb style of writing!!!!!
Aishu -
Intriguing piece. The last stanza makes the entire piece for me. If it stood alone as a piece I would still love it. The rest of the piece just adds to the enjoyment. I like your use of imagery and your punctuation is flawless. Line 11 'The Depths' is in my opinion just that little bit too long to keep the rhythm of the rest of the piece. Thankyou for sharing such a wonderful piece.
Sam








