I.
If a tree falls in the forest
with no person around
Does this poor defenseless tree
make a single sound?
It surely does in Ricky Hollow,
where Eliza’s soul dwells to this day…
II.
For far too long this land has been the sight
of consistent demonic worship;
a plague of intrinsic fallacies
infecting the veins at the very heart
of a once wholesome community.
III.
Eliza was a vibrant girl;
ripe at the age of twenty.
Raven locks hugging an ivory face,
streaming in a rippling flow, gracefully falling
to the small of her delicate back.
They knew she was a fresh one
a timid, docile flower…
as sweet as the freshest gardenia
in a sunlit summer garden.
She walked alone that night
taking leave from the seasonal party
with the revelry at its height;
to this day no one knows why…
They took advantage of the moment –
Satan’s Evangelicals –
scooping her up in the darkness,
toting her away into the night.
She was taken to their sanctuary
deep within the woods where no villager
would hear the echoes of her screams.
Innocent blood was needed to
perform their Master’s Awakening Rite.
The great details are unknown, yet
it is assumed she was then tortured
her maidenhood left intact
to preserve her quenching freshness as
an enticing lure to call the Unholy
from the depths of his Inferno.
She was found missing come morning light;
where searches aplenty then ensued.
Her body was discovered
deep in Ricky Hollow;
the densest section of The Langley Forest…
near two miles from the town.
She had been crushed beneath a cypress log,
silken dress doused in her blood;
symbols of the ritual painted on her face.
Her angelic skull was beaten in;
sky blue eyes left bulging out
spectacled in crusted scarlet.
IV.
If you walk deep into her forest
in the most silent of starlit nights…
find the place her body fell;
simply stand in compliant silence
to honor the deceased.
It is said her name is then whispered
amongst the leaves up in the trees
a soft apparition may just float in
on the gentle autumn breeze.
For she enjoys the quiet company
of a most respectful guest…
But there is a warning to be shared
with all takers of this quest…
if these guidelines go unheeded,
she will shove a tree on you.
Author notes
Tried my best to come up with a good original urban legend... "Ricky Hollow" is actually a small tribute to a real urban legend of a place near where I live caled "Ricky Road"... the woods off this road are said to be the center of Satanic worship in the county I live in... there are always upside down crosses painted on the trees... mysterious fires at night... and all sorts of weird things happen to people who drive along this road... so yeah... just a tribute through the name 
Pic found here: http://watergal28.deviantart.com/art/entity-of-the-forest-88132665
Thank you "Uncle Rex" for helping me re-title
In a list
- Best of My Works • next in list
- Trophy Winning Poems • next in list
- Legends and Lore • next in list
- Sinister Serenade • next in list
- Dark Poets group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Urban Legend/ Ghost Story by rrw.
2400 points, ended October 20, 8 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How is it
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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A twenty year old virgin-this is a fantasy piece then isn't it. The telling of it reminds of the way tales were told/written in the 1700's. Some old codger at the pub table. Really liked the whole spectacled part. I like the shove a tree part, the codger draws you in and when he has the listener is drawn completely into the tale-the other shoe drops.
Well done,
Peace
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And again your amazing skills of observation consume your comment! LOL... You sure you're not getting in my head? lol. That is exactly how I was picturing the tale being told as I wrote... all the way to the end
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How many calories does a comment have, with the holidays upon us I am trying to watch my intake. I am a bit of a storyteller, and I write short stories of the non techno, era. The old man at the fire was the beginnings of history and religion.
Peace
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well CA, now that you've got it where you want it, it is appropriate that I should give you my thumbs up. You are most welcome and thanks for the props. Your write, I just took a look and made a couple suggestions. Anywho as I stated earlier I really do like this. The pic and the words bring forth so much imagery and even dark magic with Satan's Evangelicals. You have wonderfully crafted a piece worthy of note as a true urban legend, chock full of creepiness, haunted woods, missing virgin despoiled and left with the appropriate ritual markings, whispering leaves that call her name and the respectfulness that is required for her soul. Excellent oh niece of mine. is your loon on the loose?
Rex -
Wow another fantastic write, I love this whole thing and can not choose the bit I like the most you truely are a brill writer
Good luck in your contest I think you sould take the gold lol 
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I like the way you crafted this piece. The story is rich and does keep well with the prompt. and truly enjoyed the time you took to create the structure and format. Descriptions throughout are also very specific:
Her body was discovered
deep in Ricky Hollow;
the densest section of The Langley Forest…
near two miles from the town.
She had been crushed beneath a cypress log,
silken dress doused in her blood;
symbols of the ritual painted on her face.
Her angelic skull was beaten in;
sky blue eyes left bulging out
spectacled in crusted scarlet.It could possibly us a little trimming in places, but that might be for a later date. Good work.
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Ah, thank you for your comments and thank you very much for the HM! The stanza you highlighted in your comment was my personal fav from the piece so I'm glad you liked it
I felt the ending was far too abrupt and I wanted to tweak it a little more, but I figured I should just get it in as is so I wouldn't miss my chance in the contest
Oh yes! And I'm glad you enjoyed the structure and format... it's the first time I've structured a poem in such a way and I hoped it worked well with the piece
Thanks again!
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Nice
Another stunning work brought on by one of my current favorite dark pens. CA you are truly a remarkable writer and is why I chose to honor you within a poem I wrote. I knew I didn't make a poor choice at all but this just further drives home the point
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I'm gonna have to go find that poem now lol
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A beautiful piece full of dark and creepy imagery. The title is VERY appropriate for this write. A wonderful story throughout with great diction and flow. You know how to weave a captivating story!!! BRAVA!!!
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This almost made me cry. No joke. But I giggled a bit at the last line. it was so random. "She will shove a tree on you." Just...yeah. Im loopy on meds. Dont judge me.
And no no I like the title. Leave it. 3 clappies stephy. I love oyu!
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heehee. It was kinda meant to add a laugh to it... but I think it makes the ending a little abrupt
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This is really good sis I loved it, It was dripping in gorgeous imagery which I love and I love the dark imagery in these lines
sky blue eyes left bulging out
spectacled in crusted scarlet.
Just great I have to say that the very last line made me laugh lol I dont know if that is what you intended. I would say keep the title I like "The Legend of Langley Forest" It makes it sound like its a proper old legend or a poem from an old horror book I hope you win something for this
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wow. this chilled me to the bone. i usually can't pay attention through longer pieces, but you did a fine job of holding my attention all the way through this stunning piece. the ending was a bit abrupt though. maybe like the end was for her? i dunno. nice write though.
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Thanks so much for your comment
I'm glad it kept your attention I like it when someone tells me my long writes are gripping enough that they managed to keep the reader's attention, especially when the reader normally doesn't like long poems
And I know what you mean about the end... I actually felt the same way as I was posting, but I just can't figure out what I want to do to ease the ending a little bit. Thanks again
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I like it CA. If you change the title, you'll need a little more than just Eliza I think. Like Eliza and the Legend of Ricky Hollow or simply The Legend of Ricky Hollow. The Legend of Langly Forest may also be appropriate. The Cultivation of Eliza? Eliza the Cypress Legend? Eliza, Soul of Ricky Hollow?
Adding your comment:
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