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Painful Abyss

I try so hard to shut it out-
Your pain.
I cannot help it.
Your pain is my pain,
Your silent screams,
Pleading wails,
Broken and mutilated heart
Are all mine.
Truthfully,
I'd rather be without it.
But I sit here,
Clear glistening tears
Running down my face
In threads of guilt and pain.
I can hear you,
Pleading with God.
I am amazed...
You beg him for relief and forgiveness,
To rid you of your pain,
While I sit here,
Angered at what he has done!
You scream,
You cry,
You wish all a silly dream...
And you close your eyes tight,
Breath in deep,
Exhale lightly...
Your eyes pop open,
And it's all still here,
The death,
The disaster,
the heartbreak.
It starts all over again,
Your silent screams,
Your pleading wails.
And there is nothing I can do,
Nothing I can say,
Because what's happened happened,
And no matter how much
I wish it could change,
It will always stay that way.
I try and shut it out,
Your pain,
My pain,
Yet,
It's impossible to do.
Your pain is my pain,
Your weaknesses are mine.
So if the thought and memory cannot leave
Your mind,
It must stay in mine as well.

Author notes

I wrote this back in february when my mother's boyfriend died in a drunk driving accident. I haven't been able to post it up for so long because it hurt too much. It pretty much explains that I didn't want to face the pain she was facing, but i had to... because we are so close. I felt selfish and guilty, but it's the truth. It was too painful. Not to mention, she had finally admitted she loved him just a few days previous. anyway, tell me what you think

A contest entry

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Comments


  • Blue-Rose Beauty
    December 18, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    None of the lines were stuck out.
    This wasn't horrible.
    This wasn't terrific.
    It was just ok.
    Thanks for entering.

    6/10


  • Darkmoon
    November 9, 2009

    Edit | Reply
    I'm sorry for your pain. I can understand how close you and your mother are. Me and my sister used to me that close, til she had her daughter. I'm not jellouse(bad spelling sorry) i just wish me and my sister would bond like we used too. I love my niece and sister so i'm not too worried about it. Also me and my mom are close too. This was a good write. Thanks for the entry and good luck.

  • babygirl to u
    November 6, 2009
    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really good and sad