Winter Fire by redmoonnrizing at All poetry

Vacant orbs regard me, under the half-light of an
autumn moon. Let us sip from our teeth, drops of
vermilion wine. Let us dance within these rotting
cerements of fallow desire.

Ivory bones reverberate, upon graven mounds of
winter fire. Pouring death into the darkness, as we
hold fast to the remaining flesh that binds eternity.

Chanting breathlessly beneath fevered kisses,
vulgar obscenities meant to quench the infinite lust
culminating within our glutinous loins, hungrily
ascending into resounding overtures,

of sated proximity...

Author notes

LUST

Image:
http://www.thewe.cc/thewei/_/images11/science/skeletons_embrace.jpe

A contest entry

Seven Deadly Sins (Group contest for Manically Macabre Group only) by twelfthknight. 1000 points, ended October 23, 12 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

What did you think

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
AngelBellerose
October 28

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deep in thought you have brought upon the Vacant orbs
you penned the mood for the both swoon upon the demise
in tow,, awesome hun always hugs, Angel♥
Deceits Tears
October 25

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Bloody AWESOME !!!!
As always a real pleasure visiting your page, you never fail to please
Congrats on the green my friend
sinfull
October 24

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Indeed. The unpaused run-on sentence works for this piece. lI can hear..low murmers...great visuals , an enticing piece.
awannabepoet
October 22

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Well this is excellent indeed, no need for me to lend ooh's and aaah's for the poem and the poet speak for themselves and besides I could never render such justice to an AP canvas.

Thank you for sharing your great talent and poetic gifts.
spideracer
October 20

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As a genealogist you must gain a lot of inspiration from doing that type of work, for surely your poetry lends to it. Here you've done an amazing job on that prompt 'lust', such awesome and dark imagery. ''vermilion wine'' flows so well together and I think I've used those two words together somewhere in one of my poems. Truly a great, dark and morbid write, and MM if he saw this would be jealous I reckon. Good luck in the contest
blank1
October 20

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you are a truly amazing freeverse writer,wow,best of luck in the contest
IntimidusRex
October 20

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Damn, speaking of lust long lasting, incredibly dark and forboding. As always your chosen verbage leaves us with everlasting impressions of what is, was, will, could or should be neath the light of one of your moons. The pic is a remarkable opening to your piece and speaks volumes by itself. Good luck red, as if you really need it..Rex
Virgo
October 20

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Brill write the imagery is great and very dark,

Chanting breathlessly beneath fevered kisses, I love this line I think it is cool

Thanks for entering the contest good luck.
darkyinsoul
October 20

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excellent
as alawys impressive
well done dear mum
love this stanza...

Ivory bones reverberate, upon graven mounds of
winter fire. Pouring death into the darkness, as we
hold fast to the remaining flesh that binds eternity.

you rock
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
Draig aine
October 19

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everlasting lust great write and photo I like very much
Jayde1
October 19

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great
this is an awesome write yet again...

Chanting breathlessly beneath fevered kisses,
vulgar obscenities meant to quench the infinite lust

loved these lines....

really enjoyed this poem
well done Red...

Jayde
twelfthknight
October 19

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This is a great write on lust Its so powerful and very dark and creepy.Its very deep with some wonderful imagery and I love the picture Thanks for entering
redmoonnrizing
October 19
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OK, I am happy with it now...thanks for everyone's input
Concrete Angel
October 19

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I dunno... I actually like this whole thing
And actually I think the second from the last line gives it an added intensity in the way that they're worded... kind of hinting at the "sin" here... especially "glutinous loins"... but at the same time the final line doesn't seem to equal that intensity... I think it might be "screeching"... maybe if you could put in another word or something? I'm really not sure cause I think this is just fantastic as always so I don't think I'm gonna be much more help than that

P.S. I'm gonna ask you to read the new one I'm getting ready to post for another contest, cause I'm not sure about IT
Miss Macabre
October 19

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First off, the tone is set perfectly. You have element, lust, and you've pulled the darkness out of it and began to weave a poem.

[Let us sip from our teeth, drops of
vermilion wine.]

That is brilliant. I love the way that is worded.

[infinite lust
culminating within our glutinous loins]

If anyone can make desire creepy, it's you. You took desire and blew it to proportions that are astounding.

I really like this lustful poem. You made sin truly sin, and not just pleasure. A very good write, good luck to you.
rrw
October 19

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Well, I read through twice... and I'm not sure if there's enough in the preceding stanzas to warrant the last two lines.... I'm thinking that this is a witches ceremony of some kind using the bones of the dead? Not sure I got the connection... but not sure you need to rewrite more than the last two lines. Maybe tie them in more to the body of your work.