I want me back

I want to scream and let the world know that I am a failure. I do not know how to love. I do not know how to please. I do not know when to hold back and I believe early and trust too easy.
I have lost my pride to the point where it is all obsolete.I do not know what that means anymore, I do not know its function. I do not know how it will ever enrich my life.
I am devoid of pain. My soul has been numbed by the icy pain and hurt, I cried it all out when it melted, now I stare in the dark and my mind goes blank because my thoughts come in hazy patterns and I cannot piece them together.
Sleep lost a friend in me, I prefer to sit up and watch the still characters that hover inside my TV and even though their lips move, I cannot comprehend what is coming from their mouths.
My mind is incomplete, thoughts threading across and not eliciting any emotion even though I know it is the cause that I will not find peace.
I am chasing after peace. I am chasing after love. I am chasing after happiness. So close yet so far. They are all elusive.Peace comes when my eyes dare to close and even though I have nightmares, I find peace because I will not remember the dreams
Love is playing with my heart.Beckoning to me, and sweetly lying to me. Love is unbelievable. Love is piercing deep in my valves and when I stare at the walls, I see cupid laughing back at me with absolute malice in its face.
Happiness stares in my face, and eludes it ever so swiftly.I smile and laugh but even the sound does not chime like it used to.
I stare blankly at the heavens.I wish God would send me one of the three. I wish pain was obsolete in this case. I wish pain came with feeling because it would fade away soon.
But the pain has embedded itself in my heart.And tattooed itself on my face.

I never want to see my image on the mirror. I lost me.

This person is very ugly.