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Crushing Destroyer

You’re the destroyer
eyes set to kill
me, a lowly man
no match for subtlety

Acts of desperation
clinging to what’s not there
you stand an
immovable object, unstoppable force

Actions are futile
nothing to do
Beautifull, my crushing destroyer
reality ensues

One swift thrust
a crushing blow
paralysis set
lower than low

Praying for the end
death looks so sweet
mouth is watering
but you’re a fucking bitch

Do what you always do
leave me waiting
while you go fuck some guy
Cunt

Author notes

C ant
U nderstand
N ormal
T thinking

also means

C
U
N ext
T uesday

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • wandyway
    November 20
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    So I was cleaning out my favourites list, didn't recognise your name (where have you been since october?! xD) and click-adoodled to see your stuff.

    And then I remembered why you're on my favourites, sir.

    The rawness, the punch...I don't know what you do, but it does it for me

    Keep writing. I'll keep reading.


  • Raul Moreno silver member
    October 26

    Edit | Reply

    Nice

    Great work on the poem and the acrostics in your AN.

  • JToddUnderhill
    October 26

    Edit | Reply

    Wow....

    .... now that was some ending! BTW it means Centralized Underground Networking Terminal is Man Hole LOL. Not my usual like as far as reads, but I will make an exception and like this one, profanity has its place in art and this one was as tasteful as it gets for using profanity. Don't get me wrong I am no prude but poetry is the celebration of being wordy and the fact that some used four lettered ones shows some lack of creativity normally, how that is not the fact here. Good Job


  • laura0757 gold member
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    so i read your poem, and this is what goes through my mind..........what are you doing with her...........lose her.....................lol..........sorry......I cant help it............what a witch...........if you think you deserve better,,,,,,,,then dump her, its better to be alone,,,,,,,,,,than...........full of rage......providing this is true...because with wriing stuff......its hard to tell................which is good in its own way..........


  • laura0757 gold member
    October 21
    Edit | Reply
    i am sorry but this made me laugh,,,,,she sounds like it...all right..but although the word is vulgar, its just a word, and the use of the last four letters and how you used them,,,,,,,,,,,,i thought was funny..........great only because I think you made your point...............hey were rthough..........lol......as far as revisions, umm, just put x rated..........lol.................


  • g e m m a
    October 20

    Edit | Reply
    i think this could have been developed more fully. it just seems like you're venting, but not really developing any solution or relevant imagery. also, some lines rhyme and others sound like they are about to rhyme, but don't. i guess i just don't really get it. good for you though, if it helps you deal.

  • Virulent Malice
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    Beautiful or Beautifull? Was that an attempt on word play, or just a typo? I guess I got what I expected when I clicked on the title.. Anger and not much in the way of poetry, good on you for venting.


  • Grey.Area.
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    I like the random anger in this bit:

    Praying for the end
    death looks so sweet
    mouth is watering
    but you’re a fucking bitch

    Do what you always do
    leave me waiting
    while you go fuck some guy
    Cunt

    The beginning sounded like a noble fight between knights for some reason to me, and I really didnt expect the ending........................... it was good though, well done.

1 - 8 of 8