Oh, what a lovely ham I think
(Smell them pineapples)
before pounding a 5th of Wild-
Turkey. Leaping over the table,
and kicking the holy hell out
of your stupid fricking uncle
Randel, and jack-ass dad.
Fake green grass in my hair,
and halved & coloured plastic eggs
scattering everywhere in the kitchen as
my elbow lands in the 'Welcome
back Jesus Cake'. Your aunt
Matilda (with lisp) beating me over the
head with that sweet potato spoon.
I recall my first hemp sack race,
and how I was surrounded
by laughing children and
love. Although, I was lonelier
than ever... I was always
the kid breaking windows,
and writing sentences saying
"I shall not lie to my teachers".
Smoking outside on those early
Spring mornings and afternoons.
Avoiding their eyes, and how they
felt sorry for me, and my poor busted
family. My dad sketching my Easters out
for me on legal pad from prison.
Mother, drug crazy on that island.
Somehow, all of the yellows and purples
along with the sugar and small talk
has always made me sick of you.
Holiday friends, and family, so full
of crap and petty insecurities
All of the Cool Hand Lukes in
the world couldn't swallow the
incessant amount of rotten eggs
you boil to fatten your brood.
You were never my family.
You made me feel about as
'at home' as a spade in Switzerland.
Watching you grow into your
pig suits and stack on all of that
extra weight is merely a consolation
prize in the grand scheme of things
A basket full of hidden meanings.
Author notes
Written April 11th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Merry ChrismaHannaKwanzica To All! by BallroomAngel.
300 points, ended January 8, 2006, 25 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 45 of 45
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Oh wow, this is really good. I can feel the emotion in this peice and I can almost see this easter in my head. Good luck in the contest
x0x0
Katie -
Thanks for entering. I hope things are looking up for you by now.
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Dysfunctional families haunt us forever. You really captured that little truism in this write. Very descriptive and realistic.
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Incredibly, we forget, even the first family was dysfunctinal...
Your writing is always a kick in the wisdom...smiles Just when I think I have things sorted, you come along and force me to see things another way. Well done, one of my favorites! -
I am a writer, but I am not what I write, or I'd be dead.
And unfortunately, I wrote for the underdog, the needy,
and the overlooked, not the spoiled and the plastic. -
Nicely penned Jeremi. You capture the freshness of youth and the hypocrisy that is sometimes attendant with family gatherings ostensibly for religious holidays. You utilize irony perfectly to set the tone of the piece with your description of Easter brunch, making effective use of a pun on turkey with Wild Turkey. Well written, and very effective at conveying the poet's disdain, finishing with a perfect final line, again making ironic use of "basket" given the holiday described.
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Intense pen, you have touched on just about all the emotions there are in one poem. I was laughing at the silly banter, then wondered when the Easter bunny suit came off. Felt your pain and anguish of the past, and heard you loud and clear in setting things straight in that perfect vent in your ending.
And you are so right, sometimes we have to just say it like it is, Wonderful pen!
blessings, Sandi
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I'll delete those comments.
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This is a great poem, but I don't care for the 4 letter words in the comments. Hopefully the kids won't read that far.
You certainly did nail this to the wall.
I had a dysfunctional family too, so I can relate totally. -
Different
Well unfortunately too many people have this type of Easter and many families are separated. That was not the case in my family. Sorry yours turned out to be that way. -
This is a helluva poem (as I sit here alone at my computer on Easter Sunday). However, I have never felt alienated as you seem to, because I have had good friends who were far better to me than my family was). I hope life begins to go better for you. I don't like one word you used in this, and wonder why you did. But that's a horse of a different color, and this isn't the Wizard of Oz. All I can tell you for sure is that life is too short to waste on angst and anxiety (as I've said to many people over the years). Get out and get a life and forget the people who make you feel bad.
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I am estranged from all of my family too, except my current husband and his family. I have not come to the point you have yet. I'm crying so now I can barely see the screen. Bless you. Your words help a lot.
~~~POO~~~ -
Thank you! I was getting so sick of all the religious poems this weekend! Now this makes me feel right at home... LOL
Yes, I could relate to all of this, but you forgot the neurotic sister-in-law who is such an overbearing mother she brings a special meal for her poor child because she is convinced he is allergic to everyone. Oh, and the other sister-in-law who makes you keep a good eye on your wallet.
Edited on Mar 27, 2:02 p.m. because 'typo'. -
what we have here is a failure to communicate
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I'm quickly becoming a huge fan of your work, not particularly because I can empathize with this one, (my family is freakish because we really do like each other), but because your writing is transcendent in a way that at least makes me understand. Great job.
Edited on Mar 27, 1:50 p.m. because 're-wording'. -
fantastic!
wow- this was great! at first it seemed to be really just a funny write, and then you read on and realised that actually it had much more sinister undertones- well done, great write!
really hit hard. -
I don't, I haven't seen my family in over 15 years, and I have a beautiful family of my own now, so I guess all's well that ends well.
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"why'd you have to say fifty luke? why fifty? why not thirty-nine or...forty-five?"
so funny....bad memories..i feel the same way when i get around my family during holidays too -
Family gatherings are sad, sad things. Family are just people related by blood, most aren't even friends, so why the hell do they feel that they have to get together all the damn time? I have enough dealing with my friends, screw my family in most places, too stuck up because of my dad's mistakes to even send a glance my way. Now that I live alone I'm completely invisible to everyone but my mom's mom. I can understand this kind of feeling towards a usually serene family deal.
~Sephy J -
i like the way you started out with what i thought was going to be a good memory and turned it into hat really happened. im sorry you have these bad memories.
daniellelynn
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Your final stanza is superb. Good read altogether.
Mary -
Wow, not a good memory eh. Once again you have allowed the reader an intimate view into an interesting life.
Anna -
LOL, great stuff!
I hate holidays in general... I am not overly religious or anything so Easter isn't celebrated and I don't do the whole Easter egg thing (unless I am forced to at work)
Gotta love family get togethers
My Mum taught me how to behave properly at them... get exceedingly drunk and laugh at the relatives who try and cause a scene 
Take care
Hayley x x
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Oh, never mind, figured out that it's a tattoo. Carry on.
- Giovanni -
Hilarious and Vivid
Dude, you should do one of these for every holiday. This felt like... home.
Thanks for the refreshing laugh,
Giovanni
PS: Is that bacon over your left pec? -
Amazing isn't it, how holidays bring false sympathy and love that only makes you lonelier than you were before ..it's no wonder suicide rates rise during such times ..resurrecting old grudges and never love ..pretty damn ironic I think. I'll light one up for you ..just because ..I know how it is.
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Aaahh the easter family feuds of life. hmmm sometimes I' mglad we dont bother with it.
well. apart from the children having a chocolate egg.
This surely does give alot away about your personal life.
I enjoyed. and definately worth reading.
Ann
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Sounds about right....family holidays, I mean...I know it's just not a holiday at my house without a fist fight or hair pulling. Great write...sorry I suck at commenting. Nice pic, btw.
Jenn -
Excellently done. I enjoyed this piece. Holidays can be such a pain in the arse. Hugs and bites, Lady Raven
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why yes, i suppose it brightens my day a bit, and thanks for keeping me abreast..., which brings to mind the fact that we get to see both of your nipples in this photo. That single nipple photo from yesterday was a teaser?? thanks again.
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Thanks ed, I wanted to let you know someone went out of their way to thank me for submitting one of your poems for publication, a Tess Falen, anyway, I thought that might brighten your day... You have LIKEABLE qualities under all of that war paint.
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reading this again, it is one of your best, i think, at least on a personal level. You say an awfuckl lot in this.
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And a good time was had by all eh' ??? lolololol now, this made me chortle.. alot.. as I've been working all weekend so I had the ability to miss all kinds of Easter fun
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excellent write, with easter just being an excuse, as aren't all the days we celebrate like this, highlighting the stupidities of an unreflective life? the yellow and purples make me really no more sick then the reds and greens, and the idiotic explosions in the summer. I think you said it best when you wrote, "morons for cotton candy."
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well, ms. charmed childhood checking in, um perhaps if you'd switched to brunch as our family did things might have gone a bit smoother - mimosa's don't have quite the same affect as wild turkey - plus no sweet potatoes (did they put marshmellows on them - god i hate that - i do like a baked sweet potato very very good in substitute for an idaho - ever tried that?)
remember crusty peeps and all should be good eh?
talk to you later...after my metatphysical experience...
me. -
"Welcome back Jesus" cake...
Priceless. -
Your Easter sounds like my Christmas. Never anything pleasant, really. Just some drunken fights and torn paper. And somehow my sister usually ends up with a black eye. Pleasant lot we are. Heh. This is vividly bitter. I like.
And on a bit of an off note:
In the pic, I can see there is a tattoo there, but I can't tell what it is. Fill me in? -
haha, Easter sucks at my house, especially this year.
fake isnt it?
love it all, last lines a killer -
These pictures are actually only 2 years old. I look better now, wiser.
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I ate five hard boiled eggs, and a shit load of candy. Some how I ended up with those nasty rotten egg burps. Than I ate some eggs yum!
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A sad lament of Easters Past, and of childhood past, Jerimi. You brought your holiday alive with your vivid imagery... I had to duck to keep from having sweet potatoes splattered all over my face.... but.. I was right there rooting for you
I know your poetry comes from life and you always manage to keep it interesting .... the good times and the bad intermingled.
Excellent, this one
Dee
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mmmmmrotten candy.
N... -
Ilmfao boy you got mad talent you know that, where do you come up with this? Damn If I had a dollar for everytime you made me laugh I'd be a lucky gal.
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wow, what can one do without hatred on easter? good poem, i like the last few lines, all around good flow of words, interesting topic
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I like it..
and the picture
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