The clouds changed course,
One way was not as good as the other.
Ghosts travel down the hollow halls of old lives,
Never leaving footprints of their own.
The phantom of Shangri-la makes the same promise
Of returning, over and over again,
To those who cannot see or hear him.
Smoke stopped rising from the brick chimney
Of the abandoned home, a long time ago.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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This evokes the somber tones and does more in the painting of the imagery as to define the tone and mood, this is the begining of a book in scenes of free verse or merly a part, but this is beauty.
Well done my friend a nicely sketched scene here, keep it up!!!
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OoOoh... Nice
I like it!!!
My favorite stanza is the second. it's awesome!
Keep up the awesome work!!
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Simply magnificient...
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AWESOME JOB!! Wow, I wish I could write like you. Really I do. I just love the story that this gives and the mental image it portrays to me. Nicely done!
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Feels so very sad and lonesome with some creepiness laced through it.
I love the entire write but the second stanza really caught my attention and made this a more interesting read for me.
An all around great write.
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...The phantom of Shangri-la makes the same promise
Of returning, over and over again,
To those who cannot see or hear him......
Beautiful.......shangri-la...the old 1933 novel...lost horizon...James Hilton..
the harmony of the village.....Excellent
This had an abandoned felling to it...
it gone and it's not coming back...
had that high lonesome feel to it which i always enjoy...
..Smoke stopped rising from the brick chimney
Of the abandoned home, a long time ago.
Left a chill....
most effective indeed....
Just a very cool piece....
do not change anything here...
this one particularly stands out to me.
Great work here!
Liam
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