i was hoping for recognition; something that sprinkled from the accumulating clouds when happiness seemed irrelevant. i was hoping for you, but as i waited patiently at the end of my driveway, gritting my teeth in disappointment, you stayed behind your shadow, and i didn't get a glimpse of your face.
you were always disoriented when it came to emotions,
but the thrills of butterflies flapping around uncontrollably
in our stomachs was always, nevertheless, beautiful.
but you let me go without an artificial smile,
and your cautious embrace that felt like icicles
impaling into my skin became routine.
then so be it.
you wouldn't let me love you. i was the open door; and when
i was standing with my back so you couldn't place how i felt
by the tears swelling in my eyes, i attentively handed you
the key to unlock compassion. i was your safe place; a guitar
pick that struck against chords to portray melodic phrases
when a knife was stabbed into your spine, leaving you
paralyzed and unable to breathe. i was everything you needed;
but i was nothing you'd let near your heart.
it's become effortless. you have slowly pushed me out of your
life without a word breaking from your lips, and i became
immune to being let down from countless balloons you
popped with unnecessary excuses that kept me above
stable ground. i'm not at fault this time, and i can't let you back
into my life so easily, so i need you to not expect me to
hold the position as 'second' in your life, not when you've always
been first in mine.
this is me letting go, and doing exactly what i've been
meant to do throughout this entire tiring and inexplainable
relationship we once had. i don't want to see your eyebrows
droop or your eyelids become heavy when i tell you you need
to leave, i don't want to hear any explanations on why you
haven't been there for me when i needed you more than
anyone suitable in my life; and i don't want you to care
to get to know me again, because i can't breathe at the thought
of losing you again.
i want you to know that you were the only
wretched thought i could've followed through with;
i want you to know..,
that i would've loved you
with everything i
had.
Author notes
i've never been so done.
[please] don't try so hard to say goodbye;
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
-
this actually made me cry, haha!
'i want you to know..,
that i would've loved you
with everything i
had.' <- beautiful.
i could feel your emotion, it had such a feeling of 'giving up', better to leave with your dignity than without any.
i love this. x
-
Oh wow hoe. This was such an incredibly raw and powerful write; I could feel your strength seeping out of every line
"and i became
immune to being let down from countless balloons you
popped with unnecessary excuses that kept me above
stable ground. i'm not at fault this time, and i can't let you back
into my life so easily, so i need you to not expect me to
hold the position as 'second' in your life, not when you've always
been first in mine."
I didn't mean to copy/paste that entire stanza but honestly? So much fucking truth right there and I loved the parallel to popping balloons--stunning.
"this is me letting go, and doing exactly what i've been
meant to do throughout this entire tiring and inexplainable
relationship we once had."
GOOD YOU FOR HOE. And I'm so proud
Look at how far you've come.
iloveyouuualways♥
-
You goooooo girly
I was hesitant to read this because you always write what I feel but hey, you simply amazed me this time.
This is amazing, written so well and your emotions just pour through. Our endless conversations about 2certain boys ay and one day you will re-read this poem and be incredibly proud of yourself for writing such a fantastic piece and for the feelings you're now feeling.
I'm so proud
Love:
"you have slowly pushed me out of your
life without a word breaking from your lips, and i became
immune to being let down from countless balloons you
popped with unnecessary excuses that kept me above
stable ground."
and
"but the thrills of butterflies flapping around uncontrollably
in our stomachs was always, nevertheless, beautiful.
but you let me go without an artificial smile,"
XXXX
-
This brings back memories, damn.
I love it so much.
you wouldn't let me love you. i was the open door; and when
i was standing with my back so you couldn't place how i felt
by the tears swelling in my eyes, i attentively handed you
the key to unlock compassion. i was your safe place; a guitar
pick that struck against chords to portray melodic phrases
when a knife was stabbed into your spine, leaving you
paralyzed and unable to breathe. i was everything you needed;
but i was nothing you'd let near your heart.
That, hit home the most.
I've been in the exact same situation, and to be able to read it after I tried multiple times to put it down in writing, is lovely.
:]
I love all your poetry, I'm a fan lolll.
-
ive poured through your poetry so many times and every piece i feel like you are saying all the words i can never put together. Im in a very similar situation, and it hurt so much to lose this guy, but i know that it will be better for me in the long run, for all he does it hurt me, use me and let me down.
i love your whole piece, every word is full of emotion and it draws in the reader. You will be better off without him, even though it hurts
xoxo
Adding your comment:
1 - 5 of 5
