Winter,
Crisp cold comfort of mine,
Oh the memories you bring back
To this vessle lost in the sea of time
Which has nowt to do these days but sit
And reminisce, and think back to better days
Like the withered rose, remember it's petals and
How it loved them so very much.
Lover,
Snowy lover, snowy sage of
Nature cold who brings to me
Lovers long since came and gone for
Me to look on like lost petals. So I look
And I stare, and feel....nothing. These cast
Aways whom once sat at my side, the hearts
Treasure of whom I slept many a night at the
Comfort of their existance and woke many a morning
With the warmth of dreams previously shared. Nothing.
Death,
They say winter brings death,
For you my little petals this is all too true,
I dont love you like I used to, no, not like I used
To...Nothing. And while the love once shared, rots
Festers into the ground, it gives life, life to new love...
Spring is but a stones throw away, and whilst I bid farewell
To my winter comfort, I embrace my spring buds, tender and warm.
Author notes
I love winter, oh so much.
It brings with it a new mindset, a new environment, and in most cases clarity, it gives me the home truths and the coldness that I need periodically to assess so much.
For too long i've held on to feelings, emotions, hope, that did little but drag me down and prevent me from feeling the good things towards people who are reaching out to me and I being prevented from returning it. This poem was not only a release for me, but I'm actually happy with how it turned out.
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
-
Nice
I like the formatting, and the way you broke the stanzas up with the little one word heading. Nice use of alliteration in the first line as well. Certainly Winter can bring clarity as everything is dormant and there is a perception of silence that the cold has muffled the world and blocked out all intrusion or distraction. For me Winter is a time of sadness and I find myself contemplating sad things.
This line "Which has nowt to do these days but sit" 'nowt' I don't know what you meant here, whether this was meant to be not, nothing or were going for no where to go these days but sit? Otherwise a good poem. Very descriptive and nice use of metaphor throughout.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy -
It's very interesting how you formatted this piece - the lines and their progression and the way you have came about in full circle. Starting with winter as one would not expect, there is a middle ground that describes the meat of what I think you were trying to express and then circling back around to spring with the hope of better days.
Well done.
Josh
-
seasons
i really enjoyed this peice,well done . look up my 4 seasons,
-
I think you said petal too much. Just a note. it's a rough sticking word, so it tends to glue itself to minds.
-
Winter is one of my favorite seasons. Well, it is my favorite season. I used to write poems like this dedicated to winter and recall one in my first year experimenting in poetry, where I'd have one word and build upon it. Gave me a bit of nostalgia. The writing is decent, I liked the theme, you can and will improve. Also it's spelt "naught" and not "nowt".
-
i really like the way you've related seasons to your emotions. this is a very creative idea. i also find that nature can connect people to so many pent up emotions. i like how these lines progress, although for me, some words could have been chosen more suitably. good write overall.
-
I love the way you've combined season with emotion here!!! You're so good though Phil... you already know that
-
This is really well written. I need to remember to read your poetry more often.
Adding your comment:
1 - 8 of 8
