All you can hear is my haunting voice,
suppressing all aspects of freedom of choice,
I tell you what to do and how to do it well;
listen to me; I will send you to Hell.
The other two voices don’t compare to mine,
suppress them deeper; they will disappear in time,
leaving me to force you into total despair:
by the time I’m finished you’ll be beyond repair.
For companionship just stop taking your pills,
I promise you we will fly over the hills
and I will tell you secrets only I could know;
together as one we will create a rapport.
Now I’ve destroyed you from the inside out,
where you are going, no-one can hear you shout.
You will be locked up for the rest of your existence,
all because of my constant persistence!
What did you think
Comments
-
I know people who suffer from schizophrenia, and your write tells it how it is, a dark place that most have no idea about. I would call this freeverse poetry, and although it is well written, I think extra imagery would have made this poem even better than what it is at moment. Remember a lot of people who might read this poem won't know the symptoms unless they know soneone with that condition or have or are suffering from it themselves. So to show a little more would have worked wonders for this poem, still you did well here and perhaps one day you will write your masterpiece on the subject. Take care and keep on writing.
-
Real
I know you didn't ask for suggestions, but I thought your forth line of the third stanza, might feel better with something like this.
in a sick twisted, ventriloquist show
Adding your comment:
