Alone in his room, but quite paranoid.
He schemed with that thing him nearly destroyed.
The gruesome contempt he held in his head,
Gnawed on his mind ‘til he was nearly dead.
He plotted and drew up his attack,
To salvage his pride and bring sanity back.
For he couldn't be sure if he was right in his mind,
So he looked inside, but no soul could he find.
He stared out his window, beyond that room,
His world contracted, he was held by his gloom.
He turned to the glass to look on his face,
Where he delved in his eyes and cowered in disgrace.
He thought to stop and smother his qualms,
He thought he knew remorse and uttered some psalms.
But he heard the devil on his left shoulder
While the night progressed and breath grew colder.
It encouraged his hand to move to the chest
To find the rapier and put his pains to rest.
His trembling hand wouldn't be controlled,
It wouldn't obey, t'was in the devil's hold.
It went to the chest and moved to its lock,
He was in fear now, a sheep without flock.
All he knew of God and the Church,
Was forgotten now, as it began to search.
It pulled from the box a dagger so pointed,
That in the past, with blood was anointed.
His arm was raised as the whispers increased,
He had little care for the doomed deceased.
Lest it be where he thrust his blade,
Or why in the end she had strayed.
He picked up the candle and passed through the door,
Where what fate awaited and lay in store,
I cannot describe nor relay anymore.
Author notes
Bit of an Allan Poe thing going on here. Tried for a while to write something macabre, I'm still not sure if I have quite nailed it and maybe opt to revise this poem in the future.
A contest entry
- Dark writes by darkyinsoul.
700 points, ended October 19, 22 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Nevermore . . . (Dark and emotional prewrites contest) by BrokenGlassRose.
800 points, ended November 10, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I read the comments and you nailed Poe's style completely. The word choice could be more complex but otherwise it was a very dark and intriguing poem. The rhyme and the flow are perfect and the mood is just right. Good job.
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Having computer trouble.Only getting last parts of poems, but from what I read you definantly nailed the dark and macarbe with this one.Found it somewhat disturbing which I think was the intention so ot achieved its aim.Montey
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well done
good rhyme throughout
in my opinion and this is only my opinion
you should have totaly broke this up in stanza form
so there is breaks in the reading
other than that excellent
love these lines...
He thought to stop and smother his qualms,
He thought he knew remorse and uttered some psalms.
But he heard the devil on his left shoulder
While the night progressed and breath grew colder.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.
Edgar Allan Poe - I used this as my prompt, I was very much inspired by the lenore here - although I am aware this quote is from the raven- not the tecnique, but the mood. Gracias
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