Not today

In a anxious sort of trepidation,
I waited. Time seemed to play tricks on me
it would move oh so slowly,
each ticking second seemed drawn out,
then when I wasn't looking the hands rushed on
almost as if in a race.
Desperately pulling me closer to that time!

I didn't want food or drink,
my stomach seemed filled with fluttering butterflies.
My body was pent up with hope and fear.
My eyes always strayed to the ticking clock.
My  agitated mind would not settle
but always wondered forward in time.
Letting my imagination paint in rosy hues
that which I was waiting so patiently for.

Deep in abstracted thought,
I waited. Inside I was warm with excitement.
Then I received that line,
so crushing;
telling me that it couldn't be,
not today,
another day though.
As disappointment exploded around me,
I became deflated,
flat,
like a burst balloon.
I felt weighted down.
My heart thumped as a bitter feeling swept around me.

Not today. Another day though.