Hot, salty tears free falling
from war torn, weary eyes
Death's voice is softly calling
until I realise
I will not fall in battle
and let the Devil win
My throat will cease to rattle
as I feel peace within.
The shades of night are closing
upon this masquerade
the stage is too imposing
without the inner rage.
Life's wounds are pulled together
with stiches deft and small
A cloak made for all weather
fit's someone ten feet tall.
A contest entry
- BWOW~~Best Write of the Week #25 by islekine.
700 points, ended October 24, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
-
"Life's wounds are pulled together
with stiches deft and small
A cloak made for all weather
fit's someone ten feet tall."
Reminds me of battle scarred military veteran.
Enjoyed this.
mj.
-
whoooooooooooooow!
Loved it again girl! Wonderfully delighted by this. I especially am drawn to the middle two stanzas. I can really connect with your words here on a deep level. Your ending was also well penned. Over all wonderful work. I must say I am loving your poetry so far. you have a very ethereal way of writing that speaks to me on many levels. Thanks for sharing.
Creatress
-
-
Thankyou for reading and taking the time to comment.i much appreciate it, Ros
-
-
i love how you end this write...from the first stanza..you caught me in the middle of a tragedy...but then..you ended with an inspirational line.,..i felt as if i was caught too in the rain..and although the stage is too small...i still manage to perform..and life wounds heal....well done
-
This is indeed a great piece a hard contest again for us to judge this week thanks for your entry into our contest best wishes always be well.
-
Ahhh as usual...
another great penning...I enjoyed your message...and the imagery is wonderful...great mets too! Thanks for sharing your talent with us again!
Best wishes in the contest and always...write on and on...
and
-
Nicely written. Very metaphoric. I like your style!
-
Brilliant I love it just one mistake second verse, as I feel peace within.
As I feel a peace within.
-
-
Thankyou for your comments Keith.Mind you, I still feel peace within
-
-
wow, this is really good, i liked your first stanza alot
-
Inner Strength
Great poem. It would be wonderful to have a cloak like this in real life. It reminds me of a scene in the movie Crash: A little girl runs out of the house to protect her father from a man with a gun. He had given her his "invisible cloak" that has protected him his whole life from harm. As for your poem I think it shows great pride and strength within the character. Beautiful Write. -
Loved that last stanza, such a wonderful write to read. You did an amazing job with this. Keep penning!!!
-
Truly beautiful. I love the flow, it's perfect. An amazing write. I love it ^^ Thank you for sharing this and letting us read it ^^ A pleasure to read. I rweally love the stanza
Life's wounds are pulled together
with stiches deft and small
A cloak made for all weather
fit's someone ten feet tall.
Keep it up ^^ -
Nice
I love the flow and imagery in this. Thank you for sharing. Wow what a tall order, 10ft tall! But a good gift. I like the second to last stanza the best, especially, "the stage is too imposing." part.
-
Beautiful! I love your message of faith here. The poem also has a lovely flow and rhyme. There is much strength in your words. Best wishes with this
gaylene
-
Nicely written. Rhythm and rhyme are great, moves the poem along well. My favorite part is the last stanza, lines 13-16, I like the analogy as well as the words you used to paint a vivid picture.
Life's wounds are pulled together
with stitches deft and small
A cloak made for all weather
fit's someone ten feet tall.
-
Lovely flow and good calm message
Great stuff all round
Jeff
Adding your comment:
1 - 17 of 17
