Ended in the fashion it started
Words on a screen
Love or lust before we parted
What was the meaning
Characters and spaces ruling them
minimal physical affiliation
Contact and calls supervised and critised
Duration and situation
Was it all that they said it was
Love or admiration
Were they seeing more than there was
Distrorted visualisation
Were they searching for more than offered
Deeper than what was needed
Were they not shallow enough to see the other
The relisation conceded
Taken was a young heart and broken
Shattered is the crystal
Tormented is an older mind and soul
Hurting and dismal
just comment please
Comments
-
Sorry you're feeling like this Michael, but you have more imporatnt things to think about like that beautiful little boy of yours, so concentrate on him and nothing else, and keep strong like I know you can, Josie
-
Your anal cavity just broke wind and smells bad enough to induce vomitting (and also labour) and I can't stand being around you when your clean and showered let alone at times like this.
Good write (I think) didn't really bother reading it, jks lol.
-
You suck, your writing is crap, I don't know why I bothered reading this it was the biggest waste of one minute that I have ever experienced in 28 years. :-P jks
The torment and distress in your write shows that you have indeed loved and lost someone who is dear to you my friend, I myself have been here in this situation and can empathise with you.
The rhyme scheme seems off with how it was a ABAB rhyme in the 1st and 3rd stanza and ABCB in the 3 other stanzas. I'm guessing that you were only writing it as a ABCB rhyme scheme but couldn't think of a way to word the two above mentioned stanzas.
Good write all the same and psychiatric homes are free to enter if needed.
Adding your comment:
