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-Damned-and-Deserved-



Awakened from a soothing sleep
unable to recapture peace.

A wind of cold,  breeze of dread
delivered me  -unto -the dead -

Whisper, whisper, whisperings
-chant- chant- chanting-

We are your darkest dreams
We are your silent screams

We are -lies- scorched inside
the incense that you burn;
Hate, Revenge, and Death.

To-night our wicked child
Oct. 31st, deem deem
unto us; those you dream

-damned-and-deserved-

Breathless, panting, struggling
What the -fuck-do you want from me?
AWAKE ME FROM THIS DREAM!

Soothing is temptation,
luscious and consuming
Memories -faces- brutally- appear.

A-ris-ing dawn is mourning.
Telephone is Alarm-ing
and for the life, and death of me

I cannot -move-stuck-
nor dare to answer it.
Trembling in my soul;

Oh God What Have I done.
I have -willfully-
pledged my soul

my home
to live -and die- amongst-
the-damned and-deserved-

I beg of you;
Do not close thine eyes
nor dare to dream on

hells night October 31st.
*

Author notes

Contest prompt: the picture prompt.

this was fun
I love Halloween
always brings out the
Irish Troll in me...

Hope you thought
it was fun too!

CAREFUL
WHAT YOU DREAM!
lest you be
the next new face of
the Damned and Deserved!
(we have cookees!)

picture credit; artist http://www.blogodoom.com/images/ju_tree_house.jpg

A contest entry

Please feel free to comment it's how we all grow!

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • annother gold member
    October 28

    Edit | Reply
    Bravo! What flow you have penned in this, very intriguing the way it all falls together when reading quickly, absorbing every word. "Blush warm is temptation" <-- I love that, what a brilliant line. The dawn mouring... kind of a play on words that played out great. You have captured darkness, fear and much more. Thanks for the entry, best of luck.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    I'm having a tough time editing this one...
    the music adds to the intensity but takes away my flow from the poetry.
    still working on it.
    ears


  • Blest474
    October 21

    Edit | Reply
    Very Dark I like how you portray the damned in this poem

    "We are your darkest dreams
    We are your silent screams
    We are -lies- scorched inside
    the incense that you burn.
    Hate, Revenge, and Death."

    Very intense, I too hope u win that contest


  • tomisb
    October 19

    Edit | Reply
    There was drum beat, primal, abiding like and ancient magic saying I hold the measure and time of your life. Now, you are mine. The struggle, the scream the feeling that modern forms, i.e. the phone, will not suffice. Sublime horror, wonderfully done.
    Love,
    Tomis B.


  • Flo Varekai
    October 18
    Edit | Reply

    Bravo!

    You have excellent flow and good imagery!


  • The Dark Writer
    October 18

    Edit | Reply

    good

    I s struggled a little with the change in flow after the fourth verse, but i did enjoy the way it was written, it was an interesting read

  • AnthonyDeMaria
    October 18

    Edit | Reply

    awesome

    I love dark poetry. I may have to write one for Hallooween time too. :-)

  • rachel91
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    The image of the telephone was a nice jolt.
    I thought that line 6, "chant-chant-chanting" was a bit awkward. You had a nice rhythm going for the first few stanzas, which "chant-chant-chanting" disturbs. I would think that, when describing something solid and rhythmic, like a chant, you would want to retain a solid beat.


  • hughes-amanda
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    this was amazing..

    We are -lies- scorched inside
    the incense that you burn.
    Hate, Revenge, and Death.

    this alone sent chills down my back.

    AMAZING.. loved it!


  • ToXiC-AnGeL gold member
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    ahh
    The Dreams You DON'T Want to come true.

    A wind of cold,  breeze of dread
    delivered me unto - the dead -

    Loved That!

    Another Penned Brilliance
    Great Write
    (in a Dark, Creepy Way)


  • Night FireWolf
    October 18

    Edit | Reply
    Wow! I loved it. It's filled with insanity, and maybe a touch of guilt, or grief. Good luck in the contest. I'm sure this will do very well. Oh, and the picture is just amazing.


  • Swangrnv gold member
    October 18

    Edit | Reply

    ooohhh..

    very creepy!! wow you took this piece deep into the darkness..it gave me a chill as i read this, the imagery is fantastic my friend..lots of luck in the contest!


  • Disturbed Prodigy
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    oh my my my this was freakin amazing and that is all i can think to say this was amazing, keep it flowing


  • JadeNinja
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    Your words send shivers down my spine! For some reason this reminds me of the film and graphic novel The Crow. Awesomeness! You've inspired me to get back into my artwork and writing! ~YES~ My muse is back at last! Thank you thank you thank you! I've been looking for it everywhere! I give praise to thee for ending the wicked curse I've been under. Now to get revenge on whoever cast that spell of writer's block against me.... Mwahahahaha!


  • Stickboy
    October 17

    Edit | Reply
    WOW! Breathless, panting, struggling
    What the fuck do you want from me?
    AWAKE ME FROM THIS DREAM

    funny I was just thinking these same words... you always amaze me with your poems
    best of luck in the contest
    Sean

1 - 15 of 15