drowiness

its like nun matters no more
to me
while my life slowly leaves
my body

without words i only stand
cuz i have no reason to
make myself sit down
my theories no longer
hold meaing

my very existence is nun
but dust that floats in tha
air with no exact direction

spinning around and around
to no wind movement

why must i stay around

its over i am done with it all
i dont believe any more
i give up on everything and
everybody

i try to help in order to help
myself but it seems its not
good enough

i try to let people know i care
but what do i get back
nothing is what i get back

and more requests from those
who dont see me nor do they
hear me

i am alone in this world
my very soul has finally gave up
just two hours ago

what is tha point of me even
fighting and struggling
what do i have to see o be
witness to

blink twice and find myself in
a dark room without any
feelings and thoughts

i put on many many many fronts
cuz i have somethings about my
life i am ashamed of

but do they wonder what it is
i dont think so
they may think they know and try

to tell me what they would do in
my situation but not fully understanding

screaming at the top of my lungs
"you dont know me and dont know
why i hide my true feelings and anything
about my life cuz you will never understand
or believe me when i say leave it be"

now standing here with my eyes close
bleeding internally
cuz i know there is no one out there
for me

i will died of old age and not know what
true love feels like
they might as well just take out my heart
now

and allow me to die a slow and painful
death

no one should shed a tear for me for i
will be stuck in between heaven and
hell

both sides are telling things that i like
to hear
both sides pulling on me until i finally
ripe into two

but i know that wont happen cuz
i know where i am going and its
gone be hot all year long