He began!
Stabbed holes into the Void,
Tugged lightning from His thoughts
Into the first incredulous sputterings of Existence -
Let it filter through perforations in the dark
With a Word.
It burst out of the blackness
Straining to find the shape of the universe,
But He was already reciting the next lines of His poem.
They began.
Punched holes in His wrists,
Wrenched life from His body,
Practically pushed the last rattling breath out of His lungs,
Crucified Him.
It left gaping the flimsy categories Man constructs
To make things fit, for sanity's sake. Many chose sense over salvation
But He is already risen,
And repairing the world's idea of sense.
Author notes
A poem for a creative writing class
Comments
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I really like it James. The parallelism works amazingly well, and really emphasizes the atrocity of the crucifixion itself.
I'm not sure if i like the "(He named them Stars)". It's like when we were talking about being too explanatory and not letting the reader figure it out for him/herself.
And the last verse I think lacks the power of the first three, maybe reword it, or maybe I'm just missing it.
I really like "But He was already reciting the lines of His poem". Along with the various uses of sound and your spectacular word choice. Thanks for the great read
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