pain was your colour;
you wore it with pride,
& i kept digging
until you were a mangled,
beautiful
mess of a man.
your conviction
destroyed you,
& i hope it swallows you
whole.
Author notes
prompt:
"So, bite your tongue
a little harder baby,
I don't think I felt the sting."
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i have no idea where this came from. but with a writer's-block like i've got, i'm just glad that something came out. haha.
In a list
A contest entry
- Bite Your Tongue by Randomly Beautiful.
400 points, ended October 18, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Fluff is great, but it really doesn't help; honesty is the best policy.
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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the imagery in it is so powerful, i could almost see it... wows, a star read
jack -
Short like Yeats but with a kick,
very wild lass
beautiful
mess of a man...
That is a very powerful line within this
right between the eyes write..
I really like one word titles also...
i can never master the art of summing up a title in one word...
i believe it take as much innovation to come up with a killer title like this one
as much as it does to come up with a biting piece of art such as this.
It is a true writer that can condense thoughts into one punch in the face write like this that knocks the reader for a loop...
Excellent little gypsy...
there is no doubt you have talent lass.
Bless you always,
Liam
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morbidly hilarious. I got several kicks out of this one. very descriptive.
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i liked it,,,,,,,,,though
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i love the strength and dramatic effect of this poem. i love the line "pain was your colour." it's put together very well without any added nonsense. nice work.
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very powerful words my fav lines..your conviction
destroyed you, -
I liked it, it was a good poem. The lines and the poem itself was short, to the point, isolated the lines of importance and that was good. Just wasn't feeling using & instead of typing the word.
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& i kept digging
until you were a mangled,
beautiful
mess of a man
I did not get very many entries in the contest. In fact, there are none of the others I even considered as finalist. Usually, in such a case I would simply delete the contest, but I am not going to do that. This piece alone deserves the gold, even if for the lines above. I am not sure who you are as the contest is anonymous, but when I find out would you mind me using these lines in my quickie of the day, so long as I give you credit? Let me know please.
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I agree with this poem.
Short.....
.... sweet and to the point, I liked this poem. seemed written from the heart without appology for the way that you feel. I like the read alot have read it though a few times now and the only change I would make is replace the "&" with the word "and" for poetry is the celebration of being wordy! -
Short.....
.... sweet and to the point, I liked this poem. seemed written from the heart without appology for the way that you feel. I like the read alot have read it though a few times now and the only change I would make is replace the "&" with the word "and" for poetry is the celebration of being wordy!
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Honestly, this is f'ing fantastic, and SO fits my mood today. No fluff, just truth.
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i don't care where it came from i just know that i liked it, killer poem, keep it flowing
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That was an odd read. However, the imagery in it is very powerful. And with writers block as well. Bravo!
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