A full moon illuminates the malefic path of deception and hatred
Dim stars that threathen to fade away, never to return
Gray clouds pasted on a sheet of blackened night
While an occasional bolt of lightning
Brings the soul to burn
A land seen only in ancient lore and schizophrenic nightmares
A light treaded path surrounded by a blanket of mist and fog
Leads to the bonfire of witches' familiars
Where beelzebub and ill angels worship their twisted god
Enigmatic phantoms remain shackled to their eternal hell
While eidolons sigh, awaiting their non-existence tomorrow
Lingering spirits anticipate their spell
As archaic demons at the guillotine shriek
And wail forever in sorrow
Known only to them
Their spirit world
Author notes
Pic courtesy of www.deviantart.com by_artsangel
Thought I would try Free Verse once again..........hope you all like it as well as my rhyme
A contest entry
- Dark, Haunting, Poems Please by JeannieD Hunter.
1300 points, ended October 22, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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I like the claustrophoic feel of this, and the wordplay is sensational when you describe the participants at these hollow haunting rituals. The emptiness comes through your words like an old cracked bell. Ghostly. Well done.
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Perfect poem for Halloween! Eerie world...this spirit world these creatures live in!
Good Luck in the contest! You've got my vote!
Love,
Maureen
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creative and creepy
love it
well written
God bless you my friend...
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you know..i was just reading a book on ghost a few days ago..and then read the news about the ghostbuster actor and his experience...kinda took me back this poem
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it was a dark and stormy night! breat job sweet sister feel better
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jeepers creepers
You indeed let loose your spontenous wit, capturing an eery creepy dundgenous feeling of woe and dispair. Darmok
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Oooh! This is so dark and purdy, I really enjoyed reading it! I will totally have to check out more of your work.
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A wonderful piece filled with images of tortured spirits and their anguish. A true joy to read in connection with the dark genre. I don't normally write or read darker pieces but I must say this is one of my favorites. You did a great job of depicting dark as well as the tortured souls without the usual gore.
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Brilliant spooky poem
The imagery is Splendid
I love your word choice throughout
Made for a captivating piece from start to finish
indeed a great take on the "Spirit World"
Bravo
Wish you the best in the contest
David
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Wow.....
.... Stunning write, you are one gifted person. I loved pouring my eyes over every word You have such a talent and I have added you as a friend for I liked this piece that much!
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"...Gray clouds pasted on a sheet of blackened night..."
From this two-dimensional image to depths of dark fear,
you create illusionary depths.
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I liked this. Very supernatural and dark, depicting the spirit-world a million miles from the usual portrayals of peaceful spirits bathed in tranquillity. There were areas where I thought some pruning of wordiness would strengthen the poem (ie use either rathern than both mist and and fog, and I think demons would be better used once rather than twice - for freshness, freeing you to include an extra, different spook!), but this piece worked for me nonetheless, and is perfect in our approach of Halloween 2009! Maybe you could try submitting it somewhere or getting it used locally, somehow? Could be an idea!
Oh ... and I think one day I shall have to raid your archives for some new pics lol - you always find the good ones
The background choice was excellent for it too.
S2) Leads to the bonfire of witches familiars ... witches' (you're talking of the familiars which belong to the witches, therefore the apostrophe is needed to indicate the possessive).
"While eidolons sigh, awaiting their non-existence tomorrow" (non-existent rather than non-existence)? Depends if you're talking of the fact they won't exist come tomorrow, or whether tomorrow is non-existent etc. Wasn't sure, but I thought I'd query it!
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Wow Susan, this is different than what I'm used to reading of yours, I LOVE it! Fantastic darkish write..I enjoyed this.. Keep that ink flowing my friend. Great work here!
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Wow!
What an incredible write. You truly expressed yourself with some amazing descriptions. This is great. Best of luck in the contest
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