Let me count the good
apple pie, girl with a sparkle
all the stars in the sky
Ya knew ya would
start with a giggle, smile
there are bubbles in the heart
Three to get ready
but when do we start
money in the bank, loan on the home
being poor ain’t any better
than being alone
Cotton candy, a warm summers night
frogs croakin’, sweat soaking
movies on Friday night
no school until September
you holding me tight
I keep losing the place where I’m at
your kisses I am always choosing
even when they manage to distract
Let’s keep counting, let’s be really sure
Grandmother’s cookies
all the smells of Thanksgiving
the belt loosin’ eating
the hugs and kisses good night
Children in costume
fall in the air
you know I am glad that you are here
Where was I
Winter in the mountains
Summer on the beach
Flowers that blossom
Roses and lilacs
and you within reach
I keep going in circles
But I think you can see
that no matter where I am going
I keep coming back to you and me.
You're the topping on my sundae
The swirl of fireworks in my dreams
when I am coolin’ and foolin’
your the one that makes me steam
I am simple and silly
mighty large and proud
feel pretty wonderful when you are around
I guess I could keep counting
use my fingers and toes
but it don’t make no wonder
and there is nothing to show
if you aren't there sharing
all the places I go
3:28 PM
10-17-09
Alexandria, VA
Author notes
Prompt: ‘after your visits, I twisted my blinds shut every night. I locked out the stars and I never saw lightning again. each night, I simply turned out the lights and went to bed.’
- Thirteen Reasons Why by Jay Asher
I took a dreamers side. Of course my dreams are full of jive.
A contest entry
- cutting to the chase. by coloringmysenses.
1750 points, ended November 11, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think, what it makes you feel, how you are moved.
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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This is a really nice poem
I really liked it well done
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Joy
is a reward for sharing well all you have with those you love. That is the problem with counting it. It keeps changing and growing.
Thanks for stopping by and sharing yours
Love,
Tom B.
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I could see the attempts to count blessings, interrupted by memories of happy times, sweet distraction of kisses. This is a lovely litany of the strong bases of relationships; the trials and tests lose importance when compared to Grandmother's cookies and fall in the air. As long as your special love is there, all is well with the world, in any weather, under any conditions.
You use 'your' instead of 'you're' a couple of times, and in the ninth stanza I'm not sure what you intended with that 'an' - maybe 'am', but I was reading 'ain't' - not that important, I guess.
Hope you do well in the contest - this is sweet and good!
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Thanks for the proof reading. The ones you mention were mistakes. The rest of this, cause I preform my poems, is being in the vernacular, you might say. Depending on the crowd and the poems in the list I read, I will go to different depths into dialect. Poets and story tellers, charlatans everyone.
Glad you enjoyed my litany of blessings. I know we don't count them often enough or remember to say thank you when we are done.
Love,
Tom B.
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Wow what a really cute write I loved it!
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Thank You Much
Glad you stopped to share your delight.
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"being poor
ain't any better than being alone."
To some extent i believe that too. But I'd rather be poor than be alone.
Great write - it paints vivid images in my mind. -
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They both test you. Sometimes you fail the test. That's a drag. Been through too much of both. If I stop now I won't write and essay.
Thanks for enjoying it and sharing your pleasure.
Love,
Tom B.
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great poem
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Thank You Much
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great poem. gives a sense of hope to anyone who reads-well it did to me anyway. I love the simplicity of it yet it evokes alot of thought and emotion in the reader. It shows how there is always something to be happy about and even in the darkest places there is a light somewhere-however small.
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This was fun to write. Before it took off and wrote me, I had been thinking about lists and how we make them relevant and where the poetry was. Then the quote had been pestering me.
Life is about discovering joy. I have learned I can even be joyous while sad or dealing with a tough situation. Joy sets you free.
peace & light,
Tom B.
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Very Nice
Good rhymn and choice of words, colorful, a joy to read. If love could be this way for every one the churches would have a waiting line.
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Only cause we make it so.
Thanks for the compliments. It is one of those poems that wrote me more than I wrote it.
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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wow!
so sweet! This poem seemed to take me on a journey in my mind. The poem is vividly, yet simply written. It paints pictures in my mind with ease. Keep up the writing! This poem made my day
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One of the nicest things someone could say
The prompt was dark but I was in a good mood and thinking about the dreams you color a dark room with. ... You know, if you could,you would fill the moments with the one you love with nothing but gold
Peace & Light,
Tom B.
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This was continuing sweetness all through.
You weaved a loving couple from youth love to mature life but still young love.
I liked the feel of this one it grabbed my attention and held me spellbound in a magical world.
The realness of her always being there made her have a beautiful purpose. Not to furfill his every desire but to be the cotten candy in life, the smile, the knowing yet never taken for granted.
I like the dreamers side.
Love,
~Lisa~
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Now you understand, this is just me, but I have learned that come good times or bad, the one I am with makes me very glad. So count all the good things and it ends up the same, they all are good cause I can share them with what's her name
SUE.
Love,
Tom B.
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i enjoyed the random memories and imagery
in this poem.....
abstract and clearly
a beauty of a poem!
well done Poet!
well done!
Perhaps poetry
is your...
extra toe!
ears/sis
giggle.
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Can't help myself, ain't alive 'less I am creating.
Once you have found your partner, funny how everything circles around them and that makes an us.
Love,
Tom B.
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A lovely poem Tom and makes me reminisce. Thanks for cheering me up while I'm sick.
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I would hope that counting up what's good would make ya smile. ;0
Wouldn't be a very good poem if'n' it didna do that.
Always happy to share a smile.
Love,
Tom B.
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I read this, and then read it again out loud. And to tell you the truth, it sounded better when read out loud. Almost like words one would speak to their love. The flow was like music, soft and gentle like the waves as they reach shore on a calm day. This was very beautiful to read.
Many Blessings are sent your way.
Riftkin
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It was designed to be staged. There is a certain kind of jive voice with a sexy undernote that makes this sway. Yeah you use this one to make love to the audience.
Love,
Tom B.
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Forgot these!
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Oh yes, I DO like this one...quite a lot!
Several of the lines made me smile so I can't simply pick out one
This is so creative, hon!
I wish you all the very best in this contest and thank you for sharing this with me!
Best wishes!!!
Sandy -
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This is definitely a read it out loud poem. Of course it is written to the sound of my own deep tones, but that shouldn't change much. Glad you enjoyed. It really is about partnering. thought you might dig it.
Love,
Tom B.
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