You left
me breft,
your perfume
remains
still,
same
fragrance
that
used to
wrap
me,
yet and now
it is
somewhat sour
and foreign
at this hour,
it reminds
that
it would be
now
smelled
by another,
wore
for him
that is
now
yours,
My mind
is in torment
and ferment
agony
eyes stony
as it pervades
rather invades
me,
against my will
I feel so BAD
and dyingly sad.
Author notes
I feel so BAD
and dyingly sad.
written as a poem sequel to my prose piece GOOD BYE
In a list
A contest entry
- prewrite q u i c k i e! HURRY! by Kathraina.
460 points, ended October 26, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I like it. The rhymes are there but don't shout at the reader, nice. Perfume, the same, but not the same. Enjoyed.
-
Wow, very strong emotions here. I love the imagery in this piece, and the concept is something i think alot of us who've had our hearts broken can relate to. Marvelous job with this piece!
bravo and thankyou for entering
♥ kate -
A hauntingly tragic piece, yet you've twisted the words into a wonderful form of beauty. Lovely piece.
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Very good....
I love the title and that is a harbinger of good things ...obviously we have all felt what this poem portrays so elegantly...a once loved scent of a beloved person now hanging in the air like torture..you certainly capture the pain and agony of lost love and betrayal..esp. in these lines...my mind is in torment and ferment as it pervades,rather invades me,against my will..i feel so bad and dyingly sad...good phrasing...you create emotions with your words...your theme of jealousy,hurt and pain is heartfelt..I really love the title also...
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I feel the perfume trinkling from your thought as I read this poem, a memory that lingers and always will.
Cherry xxx
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Daughter of Night
I really enjoyed reading this poem good job
-
A most sad piece
penned with bnrilliance
well done poet,
as always
you amaze me
Passionspromise
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Once again sad words and yet so easy to relate to for most of us. You write from the heart and with such passion. Beautiful penning. Well done.
Shaz xx
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From the heart
Moody and dark outpouring that most people can relate to but with death ("dyingly sad") comes rebirth, a thought contained in the title itself, "Foreign perfume".
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This is sad poem but beautiful
The perfume that was once a delight has now become sour it has somehow lost it's beauty and fragrance A lost love you once cherished has been stoling by another.It leaves you sad so very sad.Wonderful write. Very heartfelt poem.Well done!
God Bless
Sharon
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beautiful
ahh scent is one thing that will stay with us for a very long time...I loved this poem!
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No it's just still the same hahah... very beautiful like it very much !!!
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