My voice became lost in the silence of your footsteps
as I leaned against cold shadows, but the doorknob never turned
despite my whispers of apologies unheard or perhaps unwanted by you.
Did you hear my incomplete duet when you paused outside the music room,
watching me play the piano keys with hesitating fingers and miscalculating notes?
Were you protecting me from winter
when you handed me the farewell letter with merely initials on the dotted line?
Or did you think my confession to be just a mirage of summer?
Suggestions?
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Beautiful piece. I adore the middle part - the image it depicts is so intricate and amazing.
unheard, or perhaps, unwanted by you.
- I think this line would flow better if you removed the commas.
Thank you for entering.
♥ -
You seem to have the gift of weaving a story of relationships interspersed with your imagery (which is outstanding I might add) Another show of your tremendous originality in writing your poetry, prose and short stories..Bravo, dear! M.
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excellent
Found this different and unusual
Love the way you use your imagery in the poem as well
As always you never cease to amaze me with your poetry
Best of luck in the contest
I just posted a new one hope you come see me
It's dark for Halloween and free verse too
Hugs
Your sis
Susan~~~
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Very intriguing write. Love the coolness laced through it with the use of winter.
Best of luck in the contest.
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Each line kinda packs a heavy punch!!
kinda like gentle ouchness if that makes any sense...
Nicely done buddy, all the best.
Ken
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no suggestions. this is adorable and made me think about my own life too; this is sweet and sad at the same time, I drooled over every word of it.
"but the doorknob never turned despite my continued whispers of apologies,
unheard, or perhaps, unwanted by you"
<33 love it! go kick but in the contest!
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Lovely stuff.
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I think it's gritty good
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