Oh, I fell.
Sunk to the deep, dark depths
of cloying shivers and regurgitated nothings.
I collect your words of love like seashells,
devour them like penny sweets.
You are the sea salt on my lips,
the stickiness on my fingers.
Little things that cling,
awkwardly exqusite truths.
My ears have yet to pop,
throbbing anticipation-headaches.
Waiting for next month, decade
and drowning,
drowning until you throw me a ring.
Inky blackness,
you wrap yourself around me like seaweed.
Tangled around my legs,
I'll never surface.
Tangled around my heart,
I never want to.
So sweet, my hands tremble
but the weight of all this
holds me down on the sugary ocean floor.
The pressure is too much,
not nearly enough.
I've a lungful of salt water,
overwhelming immersion.
My saccharine anchor.
Tell me what you think...
Comments
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I love the continuity in this metaphor, and the way the poem is linked to it throughout, the skill here is awesome. Well done, it reads well and flows. I like the section:
Inky blackness,
you wrap yourself around me like seaweed.
Tangled around my legs,
I'll never surface.
Tangled around my heart,
I never want to.
I love the way you create imagery here.
but my favourite section is definatly:
The pressure is too much,
not nearly enough.
These two lines hold so much intensity and emotion that they render me speechless, so well done.
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