30 something

Where was my brain when
I decided to see him?
I don't even know...
I can't explain it
I was out for my own personal
destruction I guess,
but I couldn't see it
until the aftermath.
There is so much here
that cannot be explained
the thought in my head
the actions I engaged in.
Where was his brain when
he decided to come over?
Whose fault is it really
when it come down to it?
It was consentual
in a sortta kinda way.
Age of consent is 16...
and I wasn't close to that.
but what happened between the few
months that we spoke?
I never expected this,
nothing like this...
It was supposed to be fun
it was supposed to be invigorating,
but I didn't feel anything.
Ridiculous isn't it,
the thought that you have
when You're in bed
with a 30 something year old man.