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Starving

 

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Starving myself until I can't breathe
until my thin blood seems to burn

more with every minute I'm living
can't stand the thought of forgiving
myself for being the person I am
Soon I'll be passing my final exam

Don't know why I'm doing this
Can't resist her sweetest kiss
Won't be eating until I fade out
the voices in my head are getting loud
Screaming for deliverance now
Tonight I'm taking my last bow.


~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

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Comments

  • edgy
    October 16
    Edit | Reply
    I don't think anyone can just overcome it, it is a damn hard fight...

    Yeah, I thought so too, but since I'm not that good in English it's hard for me to tell so thank you I actually like the line with the final exam, so I'll probably leave it the way it is, but I'm always thankful for constructive critism!

    Thank you so much, maybe I will get back to it sometime


  • Immortal Obscurity gold member
    October 16
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to Allpoetry

    As a former sufferer of anorexia myself, I could really relate to this. It isn't easy to get through, and I'm not sure I've let go completely; that obsession with numbers never leaves you, no matter how 'over it' you claim to be.

    Technically, you could tighten a little. "Seethe" in line 2 is a little out of context; while it is used to indicate rage, a more-appropriate word would be 'boil' or 'burn'. Also, the imagery of a fimal-exam was a little odd, as it didn't fit the mood you were going for.

    If you ever need to talk to someone about it, just let me know.

    Laura
    Site Greeter