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we laughed today

Today, we woke to a world of bright smiles
and good moods, of painless movement and
cheery souls.

Each room we entered filled with
the warmth of sunshine found deep in a
sparkling smile. White teeth shining from pale
lips, and blue eyes that glistened like clear
dew on a frosty morn.

Today, our hearts are singing with all the
joys of spring; like the bluebird perched
upon a twig. Today, a burden has been
lifted from our lives, and the tears welling
within our soul have eased their pressing
weight.

We laughed today and hope chuckled with
us in gentle tones. Perhaps tomorrow, we
will laugh once more.

Author notes

My sister [aged 29, diagnosed with lung cancer July 2009] has had a brilliant day so far today, filled with a lack of pain, and energy, and LAUGHTER! Today has made me see that the road ahead is not all dark, and maybe, just maybe, we WILL beat this awful cancer. Today, has given me hope, it truly has.

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments


  • bobjoebobguy
    October 24
    Edit | Reply
    I wish the burdens could be lifted off of my shoulders

  • n.e.o.n
    October 24

    Edit | Reply
    This is a wonderful dedication to your sister. Cancer is an ugly thing and it saddens me a lot. I've dealth with pre-cancer and it was very scary. God bless you and your sister. I hope she has many more days ahead.


  • Emmyb gold member
    October 16

    Edit | Reply
    I really like this.

    Before i get into why i want to make a suggestion for the first verse. I think it would be better to remove the full stop after moods and make "of" part of the sentence instead of the beginning of a new one.


    what i like about this piece is its flow and i think if you fix that one part of the first verse, the whole thing will flow beautifully.

    you have plenty of hopeful images too

    Today, our hearts are singing with all the
    joys of spring; like the bluebird perched
    upon a twig.


    lovely job thank you for your entry.

    Emma


    • Symphony
      October 16
      Edit | Reply

      Emmyb,

      thanks - and for running the contest whicih gave me inspiration to write Have edited the first verse ; i agree with you :-)

      Thanks for the lengthy comment; glad you like