If you have chose to read this I have a few things I'd like to say before you do. After you read this PLEASE PLEASE don't message me saying sorry or anything like that. I DO NOT WANT YOUR SYMPATHY. And I'd like it if you didn't look at me any different than before, I'm still the Lizz you know nothing different than before . Everything in this poem-ish writing is true and has happened. More than likely you never knew anything like this had happened at all. Just goes to show you can't always judge a person by how they look on the outside. I'm not entirely sure why I wrote this...maybe to get it off my chest...IDK.
Also I want to thank all the people who were or still are in my life. Thank you all for being there..even if you didn't know you were helping me at all. I don't think I've ever told you all but....I LOVE each and every one of you.
I hope everything is going well for ya'll (yea i used a country word lol) and that you get all that you wish for.
My Perfect Life
Looking at one entity
Wondering if I'll be back to that one day
Appears I had a perfect life, huh?
Bud let me tell ya what was never seen on tha outside
Held within and wiped from ma mind
Up to age six a good 'ole life
Mom and dad, divorced went back and forth every other weekend and holiday
Was in tha first grade, met ma later to be best friend
O wonderful day, what do you think heaven looks like
Is what I was asked by mom and nanny
Knew when they picked me up something was wrong
With that lil question I figured it out, didn't take long
Vowed with himdead and gone I'd never smile again
Told me he died in his sleep, later found out that was a lie
Life went on...eventually
Mom with ma brothers dad
Him leading a double life, I accused him playfully
Never knew how true ma words were
Met ma lil Bro a month afta I turned tha big 8
Had to grow up fast, take care of lil bro
Fucked up 1 night, when his dad went to bed
Threw tha pants near tha door, crawled over there hit his head
Blood everywhere, dented his lil head
Got whooped for lil things...he neva told ma mom, neither did I
Had cousins of the same gender on both sides of tha family
Both had tha same name, Sadly...both done tha same
Forced me to do "things" with them
Wasn't just a "o just this once" was a "come on grandma won't know" and "hurry up before they come."
Sixth grade met ma soon to be stepfather
Later on met his son, a catch from what other girls said
His looks never intrigued me
One night they were both gone, home alone with him
And a previous assaulter
Asked who'd wanted a shower with him
One points to tha other, makes a statement of both of you then
Neither moved
After marriage two incidents pursued
Game system in ma room him playin it, off to shower I go
Come back get asked ma age, face and tits get stared down
Beach, O Beach here we all come
Sleep on tha floor, HELL NO is what was yelled
Mad cause I didn't want to sleep in tha same bed, was made to though
Fell asleep before, on tha edge of falling off tha edge of that bed
Woke up had to pee, what's thos his leg touching me..
Came back, scooted farther off tha edge, maybe was me that moved
Wake up for tha last time, shit had happened again
On tha way home, him stretched to my side of tha jeep
Look at him he pulled back to his side
Lucky me..who knows what happened to me that night after I fell asleep.
Back to jail he went
Divorce to follow later on
See neither anymore
January '08
Began talking as friends to a younger guy
Never planned out that I's fall in love with him
Talked on and off for 6 months, were together during tha summer
Listened to all ma family's shit, took it too
Only cause I was happy with him
Heaven broke on Auguast 20th
He broke it off with me
With ma family's shit and that combined, acted on ma suicidal thoughts
Almost a year later we talk some but not much.
Called me tha night before graduation telling me of broken knuckles
And lies a on/off again girlfriend told to make him do so
Wanting me to see him begging...didn't because of tha time and next days activities
Still in love, doubt he cares or even knows
Now here in tha later half of '09
Snuck out to see him twice
Tried for a kiss on his cheek in case I didn't see him again, told him that
Next day he's moved with his grandparents
Couple minutes walk from me
Ma best friend's leaving for awhile, I'll be alone
Perfect life, huh...
Yea it won't, still isn't
If you'd like, here take ma shoes walk a mile
I fit a mens 9, chicks 11 otherwise
Hope they fit ya...
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