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I Let Me Go

We stumbled in,
and you asked for more.
I let me go,
but I wasn't yours.
If I hadn't been spinning,
you wouldn't have been winning.
Now, I am pretending to be sleeping
with my dignity sprawled across the floor.

Author notes

I don't know how I feel about this poem, so please critique. I am open to criticism!

What do you think?

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • shedog22
    November 3
    Edit | Reply
    I like this one....It really painted a picture in my head.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    October 21

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry!

    I like this poem, the concept and the mixed rhyme makes it feel that extra bit shattered you don't need to capitalise the first letter of a line unless it is the start of a new sentence, if you do it can make it a bit choppy, but other than that I really liked this. The only thing that I can say is that maybe you could add a little more detail to draw the reader into your words? I think this is well done though


    Polly
    Site Greeter