It and all, beyond my mind;
everything I cannot reach, nor comprehend
and everything beyond that.
You are the all at the back of beyond,
and the smile at the end of my rainbow.
All I have ever wanted.
You are all I have ever wanted.
All I wanted
and never knew, never knew
that I needed, needed you!
Until you left me cold, alone, without you.
Between the miles between
I drown in the seven seas of time
as though drowning would bring me rest.
Only you will bring me rest.
You are my land towards which I sail
and the sea-salt that carresses my lungs.
You kill me, you live me,
I breathe you, I am you.
We intertwine in emptiness
and writhe in want.
I want, I want it and all!
I want, I want you and me!
Love me too
Please leave critical criticism!!
Comments
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ohhh i like that. it gets better as it goes along. My favourite line is: 'and the sea-salt that carresses my lungs' i can feel your need, it's almost overwhelming to the reader (at least for me). The only issue i can think of is the rhythm in the earlier verses but i think it actually helps to emphasise the wonderful pace of the last, as if your thoughts are chaotic until you realise that you want it and all. Thank you for writing this
and i have no doubt that whoever they are will love you too, how could they not.
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thanks
thanks for thatawesome poem..but please do see the rules...the enteries are limited to 6 lines max..kindly do compress it or ummm...replace with another
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