Today I felt my throat close off
and I couldn’t speak.
My head pounded like
someone tenderizing meat inside a tin can
yelling for me to talk louder.
I could barely think...
the noise,
the noise.
So I showered~
the place I escape to believe,
where opening the pores
allows words to flow,
and
exposes what shouldn’t stew inside…
the ‘what ifs’ and ‘could haves’
will be left for other eyes,
and I don’t have to dwell on them anymore.
But today,
in that shower,
all I could think of was
the water heater was too small,
the towel didn’t dry my skin,
that someone should be holding me.
and now I write about it,
so I can forget.
Author notes
why do you write?
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 65 of 65
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You know the words that come from deep within have no equal, there is something to be said about exactly what you have shared. What if life was different, and I could have done things differently but then again you would not be you.
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This poem is incredibly gorgeous, in a brutal kind of way.
I loved the title and the last two stanzas.
Thank you for entering and best of luck.
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so true...I write to forget. and I am sitting here in a damp towel was just thinking how my small towel does not dry my skin...haha...we are on the same wavelength I think...
Perfect write
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This is lovely - excruciatingly painful to read, mind you - but absolutely wonderful.
There's just something about the imagery you laced throughout it that makes me cringe and want to retreat into myself and away from the world: the headache, the noise, the angst, the cold water, the towel that leaves you wet, the aching loneliness...
You definitely captured it brilliantly.
Wonderful write from a beautiful girl.
I think you should have won a trophy with this one.
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But today,
in that shower,
all I could think of was
the water heater was too small,
the towel didn’t dry my skin,
that someone should be holding me.
and now I write about it,
so I can forget.
incredible response to the prompt; i like showers for the same reason. excellent write!
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Brilliant
Touching..
We all write for a reason
I do it so that I don't explode with all my pent up feelings.
Great write
Kim -
This touched a nerve. I teared up for some reason i can't understand. I think this is one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read.
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I think this is a wonderful piece!
Very well done, poetess!
Wishing you the very best of all there is!
Blessings,
~Heavenly~ -
Brilliant(I miss being on here, miss you and your beautiful poetry)
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i miss you, too
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when ever something big happens in my life, i feel tinted, and have to cleanse my body and mind...a long shower when the water tank seems too small is differently on the list. you have worded everything prefectly...i applaud you on that.
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no words needed.
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I love this stanza because I shower when I’m pissed or upset...Actually I love this whole write and the vulnerability in it. I relate to it in so many ways.
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aint it the truth....
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where have you been, woman?
ive been and still am sick. this is just ridiculous. i think im getting better and yesterday felt like a truck hit me. anyway... SOOO glad you're back
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*brings in truckloads of Vix and kleenex and Nyquil.
We have to get you welll and on your feet again chickie! sheesh lol
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I understand the feeling so well, of the need to cleanse that that eats away at the soul...and the shower is the perfect place to gather thoughts, well, at least until the water bill comes in, lol. Enjoyed
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You know, it is the honesty of this piece that holds appeal - like the way the water in a shower can mimic the onslaught of words that pour from us. The ending in particular thrums on my heart, I'm not sure I remember the last time I was really held, and although the writing helps, I never forget. A light relief though, huh? If this is anything to go by, we can extract some fine poetry from it!
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sometimes writing about things allows us to move on...wonderful poetry grace.
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Great, now I can't shake that constricted, nauseous feeling of disgust for a world I will never understand.
Don't get me wrong, it's brilliantly penned as always...
I just think we should hold each other until everything flows normally again (by that do I mean we temporarily forget?)
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well... i dont know. to write things out sometimes clears the mind of holding onto certain thoughts and allowing it to open up for new ones. sometimes it's writing it down so we can remember, so we dont have to rehash it in our minds all the time to remember. we are allowwed to reference back, so to speak.
i dont know if im making sense really. my mind is a bit foggy right now
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How did I miss this? Wow.
exposes what shouldn’t stew inside…
the ‘what ifs’ and ‘could haves’
will be left for other eyes,
I love that part. We all have our little escape places and it really sucks when they don't work for us.
Great stuff.
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thank you so much
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wow Sweeties.
this is beautiful, to read your words
are so masterly penned.
loves it !!
Love & Blessings
Rend
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thank you, rend
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The act of expression is to take that which is contained within a given vessel and outpour it into another vessel or release it from within.
This is what you have done here with aplomb.
That is why we all write words, make music, paint and draw, speak and laugh and cry and scream I guess. Energy contained builds pressure... it is the nature of energy to be in constant flow and movement. The creative mind DEMANDS expression of thought and emotional energy.... if we contain it.....it tends towards chaos within and we invariably get a head ache or worse. Writing it, arranging it and giving it structure invariably brings it back into order....... order brings harmony, harmony brings peace.
Sorry to get all philosophical..... but this write and your author notes kinda inspired it.
Asprin will only work for a little while
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nothing is helping much. i think i need to let it all run its course.
i dont mind philosophical. you always leave such great comments... and i appreciate that.
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This is refreshing to me. In the way that I can feel your emotional release as you explain it it's wonderfully worded
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thank you
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you are quite welcome.
where you been? miss you!
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There is a sense of cleansing and renewal in this poem, maybe like forgetfulness. Good luck in the race for the gold. -Manatee
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thanks, manatee. there is always some type of cleansing, at least for me, when i put what is on my mind or in my heart onto paper to read it. that is sorta what i meant by writing to forget.
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and I had the nerve to think about entering this contest. this is a lovely write and i love how you don't drain me in metaphors.
But today,
in that shower,
all I could think of was
the water heater was too small,
the towel didn’t dry my skin,
that someone should be holding me.
- i think this part is amazing. i just don't know why. maybe because I think the same way and my reason for writing is not that much different.
wonderful write. off to read more
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lol.. well, your nerve should have kicked your butt into this. i didn't come close to placing. but it was probably good for me to stray from hiding under the soap bubbles in a bath of metaphor and just take clear hot shower
i always appreciate your comments. gives me reason to keep posting on this site
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haha, my muse is running away...i have to go catch him. { yes its a he }
of course. when i first came on this site i was obsessed with you and
' hisaddictions' writes, still am. ( in a good way, not that creepy way)
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We all have our own refuge to escape to..To refresh ourselves..regroup..start again.It is commendable you are not afraid to share your vulnerabilities to others..This is a mark of strong Often I am compelled to write at that very moment, so If I can..I do.I never put it off.Super job on this..I read it twice...and it was worth it..congrats on this one
John
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you keep me focused so many times and i appreciate that.
as always, thank you, john
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I love this....and somehow that seems inadequate.
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your comments are never inadequate. never.
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excellent, sometimes even the places we go to, or the things we do to gain purness of mind are still sometimes not enough to take us away to that pure place where our minds can be free.
Your mind is one of wonder.
keep up the good work.
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so true. thank you
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WOW..
yeah, write to forget.. what a very deep concept.. too bad for me..it don't work but if it works for you? that's great..this was a great piece of writing my friend, lots of fine examples of things many go through within these lines, i feel you lady..i really do..
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yes... there are times i write so i can remember, just not have it going through my head all the time. it is like i release it and i can hopefully not let some things control my thoughts. there are those that seem to creep in there once in awhile that i cant get out though. thank you
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Wow, this is an honest expression. When even the shower can't soothe the aching mind. Very sad poem. I wish you less inspiration for writes like this, yet enjoy the writes themselves.
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that's what happens when your head is about to explode, but you still crave to write. lol. i get inspired in the shower alot, although i have to say, it is different each day. i reflect on people ive met, stories told to me, my experiences through the day or week. it is some time when it is usually quiet and i can think through alot. thank you, steve, for always being here for me.
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Why do you write?
I write because I've exhausted every other outlet. It seems through your writing you express the desire for more in life.
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that is certainly one reason, and there are other reasons i write as well... last night coming out of the shower... THAT was what i was thinking though, and just wrote it down. nothing great, just honest.
i appreciate you coming by, as i always do.
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"that someone should be holding me."
sighs. Yeah, this is good.
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i felt like that when i woke up this morning, too. lol... being sick makes me way too sentimental, maybe a tad bitchy, too. im not even going to post that one. lol.
thank you
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I do this exact same thing, especially when I am sick, I call it my comfort zone because it is the only place in the house where I feel better both physically as well as mentally... so I can certainly relate to this write, especially the part about just wanting to be held. When I get out of the shower that is exactly how I always feel, I just want to nestle in bed and cuddle up to someone before my mind gets all clogged up again and my body starts to scream whatever it was screaming that sent me to the shower to begin with. (generally a migraine)
I wish however I could write it all down with the precision accuracy in which you have though, I would give my right arm to have a tenth of your talent dear... I know one thing.... I sure would be taking a heck of a lot more showers if they inspired writes like this from me, but alas, I don't have the kind of talent that you are blessed with. And lady, you are BLESSED beyond belief!
Awsome write!
Suzi
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oh, suzi
reading your comments soothes the ache of my writing like chicken soup is a comfort when i feel like i do right now. i was ready to delete this almost as soon as i entered it because when i got on my computer after the shower i pretty much just wrote it out... i didn't think it was all that good. then i got a comment that made me think i might be harder on myself and my judgment was off with a pounding head. it is friends like you who keep me writing as well, who push me to try new things and challenge myself.
your comments and opinions and reflections on my writing mean so much to me.
you're totally great!
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evokes some thoughts.....
I love the honesty in this, as well as the sharing of your own vulnerability. So many are unwilling to open up about this area with others. We can all relate to your words at some point in our lives. When you're sick, you're already feeling dead to the world, and the recuperative powers of a hot shower just don't replace being held. Bravo to you for sharing this. I hope you feel better soon.
Don
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thank you, don. i appreciate you reading, commenting and the well wishes. i hope i feel better soon, too. the lingering part of being sick is what gets to me. i mean, let me get sick and be done with it. lol.
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I often feel like this. like no shower can help - nothing can wash away the feeling of dirt and staleness
you captured it well and it was a good style of writing to see from you
Emma
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i love it.
bookmarked.
'But today,
in that shower,
all I could think of was
the water heater was too small,
the towel didn’t dry my skin,
that someone should be holding me.
and I would write about it,
so I could forget.'
this is gorgeous. did i say i love it?
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I have to completely parrot the woman below me; I relate wayy too much to this one. I basically think those kind of things every time Im alone for too long.. all of the different directions my life could be taking, whether im making the right choices and all that biz and the shower should be comforting but it isnt all the time. A fragile pretty poem and based on your pretty little mind alone, I cant imagine you being on your own for too long: )
x
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How come I can always relate to your writing? I am right there... the what ifs are keeping me awake and I don't know how to resolve them and I'm scared. I think we all want to be held when we are feeling vulnerable, I just can't decide who by... sigh...
I love this write
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i felt like a voyer watching you shower but as i read on i felt a change where i just wanted to hug you and take away the hurt and pain and sickness its a way fine write and you are just a doll hun and who wouldnt want to give you all you need and desire its got me stumped i will actually pray for love light and good health your way thats the least i can do bless you always coz your a gem
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this is so amazing. there's such a strong sadness lingering in this, but it's so mellowed down and soft at the same time. i feel like you almost could have said more but didn't. i love the ending. this could be interpreted in so many ways i felt like, and it was beautiful. a deeper meaning, hm? i love this. bookmarked.
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I hope your paper don't get soggy.
I love how you you leave the words for others to stew over. and this:
~~So I showered~
the place I escape to believe,
where opening the pores
allows words to flow from my brain~~
I like that-pores open and words flow.
Gold.
Joe
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one of your absolute best...yes, this is definitely poetry and how to write it.
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jeesh... i was just ready to remove it because i am still sick, not wanting to go to bed because all i do is cough myself awake anyway, and i felt i blurted this out without any thought. lol... NOW what am i to do? you tell me it's one of my best? hmmm. lol...
thanks, matt
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Well now, that is a crying shame for real if true. But then again the quality of towels has gone into the crapper lately, Singapore cloth is just so damn rough. I have found that getting an on-demand water heater is much more economical and will stay hot as long as the water is on. Very well written and thank you for entering... Scott
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lol... i was in the shower FOREVER. i have a horrible cold/flu.. or whatever it is going around and literally could not speak. i saw this contest before i headed in the shower, and was thinking about why i write. in the meantime, the water went lukewarm, i came out to a towel that was laundered using fabric softener and doesn't absorb well anymore, and i thought about just wanting to be held at that moment when i felt vulnerable...
but now, i can forget about that and drink another mug of sleepytime tea with honey and go to bed.
thank you for reading and commenting, too
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I have been sick myself the last couple days and being held is a wonderful cure for vulnerability as well as a cure for the common cold. Sleep well...
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