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Candy Clouds

Everytime I see you
My heart starts pounding
My stomach ties in knots
And my breathing races.

I close my eyes and think
Think about how to tell you
Just how much I love you
When the words won't come out.

I soon drift into a world
It's just you and me...
We lay in the grass
Watching the stars shine.

It's then that I realize
I'm looking into your eyes
The whole world melts away
Leaving us in a fantasy

Butterflies surround us
Sprinkling their love dust
We look in the sky
At the candy clouds.

It makes us want to reach up
And grab a piece of a cloud
And breathe in the sweet scent
Of their candied rain.

I taste the sweet goodness
The cherry flavored rain
It tastes so sweet,
I want even more.

I look to you and smile.
You smile sweetly back
Kiss me real deep
I taste that sweetness.

Then I wake up
To see your smiling face
Sleeping so peacefully
I can't help but smile
And kiss your sweet lips
And watch you while you sleep.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • PrettyLilBullet
    November 20
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    I think it was really good. I'm not sure what else to say aobut it. Wonderful. I love the flow and I definitely think I understand the feeling.


  • Everlasting Ellen
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is sooooo swwweeeeet!!

    I love it, you have brilliant flow and poetic feel in this I can't say much more because its one of those poems thats just there to make someone feel good, its completely delightful.


  • xxvampyregirlxx
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    awwwwwww i love it!!!!


  • Ladybug
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    a beautiful story but for a singer it needs some tighting up
    on your fingers count three beats with your words at the most five and when
    you are able match up a couple of jingle lines to rhyme.

    such as: As I awaken
    you lie so peaceful
    l linger watching
    you breathe so gentle
    longing to touch
    those soft dipples.

    this is only a suggestion

    Tamara


  • The-punk-princess
    October 15

    Edit | Reply
    This is really cute
    I enjoyed reading it.
    Thank you for sharing
    Keep it up!


  • Xxcant runxX
    October 15
    Edit | Reply
    awww wow loe it wouldnt change a thing

1 - 11 of 11