Thirteen stripes, fifty stars
Teenage mothers and strip club bars
Morals forsaken and high crime rate
Psychos in school, our children unsafe
Gunmen abound and people will kill
Young ones are murderers, teens pop pills
Look at the state America is in
No one says this in the State of the Union
Child abuse and domestic violence
Anger, road rage, none of it makes sense
Churches are burned and people drive drunk
Rapists forgiven since they can slam dunk
Disrespected teachers, havoc in the streets
People bashing soldiers, adultery discreet
'America the Beautiful' left bleeding on the floor
Her people kick her in the ribs and saunter out the door
Fights in my high school and petty theft
Sex on TV, there's no innocence left
Rioting protesters, intolerant jerks
Perversion and targeting kids are just "quirks"
Porn seen by children, pedophiles free
Millions of murders each year on TV
Watch our flag float on the breeze
You can almost see her unease
A school in California flies the Mexican flag
Fred Phelps' hate group, 'God Hates Fags'
A mother depressed, her own children had to drown
It's no shock to me that Lincoln's statue frowns
Cars with a flag sticker wrong side up
Poor people on corners begging with a plastic cup
Veterans are disgusted, I'm starting to see why
The state I see my nation in makes me want to cry
Date rape, methheads, crack cocaine,
Hope and Faith inch down the drain
Disrespect for our nation as a whole
THE UNITED STATES IS LOSING ITS SOUL.
There's got to be someone else seeing this
Someone with strategies that will not miss
They'll tweak at the media, change who we are
Just a repetition of every other war
So America, please, I'm begging you to see
The power we need most is that of responsibility.
Author notes
A poem I wrote in tenth grade (2007) English class. A few things were changed when I typed it up, because I've learned a lot more about how I feel about politics since I was sixteen, but this poem has been my metaphorical "white whale" for two years now. Ever since I deleted my old AP account and lost it, and couldn't remember it or find my written copy. Well, I found my written copy, here is my magnum opus. Enjoy it and think about it.
-Kelly
PS- One hour after I posted this it has 27 visitor views?! That must mean all my friends over on Facebook actually looked at it! Thanks you guys, I love you all so much ^_^
-Kelly
From my heart to your eyes
Comments
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you know, it's people like you who i both love and hate. that was an amazing piece and i'll tell you, i'm nearly sixteen and i could NEVER write this well. you are an amazing writer and your ideas flow to paper so easily. i've been trying to say something like this for so long but i can never find the right words.. You are an amazing author and i wish i was this skilled at anything. this poem is so true. it made me bawl so sorry if i type something wrong.
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Thank you so much. I'm really glad you liked it.... but please don't hate me lol.....
-K -
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i couldn't really hate an artist such as yourself. i just wish i could write like you do. maybe you could look at some of my stuff, if you aren't too busy, and tell me how i could improve it?
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With pleasure hon =]
-K
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Wow. This is an impressive piece of work that was penned by a sixteen year old! The rhyme flows reasonably well and the voice is strong. I'm glad to see that there is intelligent work being written by youth and not just the emo, cutting, written by twelve years olds while listening to Panic at the Disco crap that seems to run rampant on this website.
Very nice. Thank you for sharing!
- Bean Sidh -
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Thank You! I agree, there are way too many young people who let themselves slip into the cracks of a stereotypical teenager rather that rising above into the plane of originality. I defy the mundane ignorance of what is seen as "youth"; in the words of the apostle Paul, "Do not let them look down on you for your youth!" WE CAN BE MORE THAN WE ARE!
Okay I'm done ranting
Thank you for the comment!
-K
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Beyond Bravo
Please do not be insulted by what I'm about to say. I'm not majorly into the bible, but this phrase kept repeating itself in my thoughts as I read your piece - "and a child shall lead them". For those who believe all people under 18 or 21 are too young to realize what is happening and their opinions are not nearly as weighted as so called adults' - read y'all, think, hear, and feel - you, Beatles Girl, have hit the nail on the head with a resounding clang. -
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I love the fact that my piece reminded you of a Scripture, and I'm hardly offended. I'm honored. So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you!
-K
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WOW!!
Very profound!!! This spoke to my heart si true.
I'm glad to see at least one young person express such truths.
A great read. flow and metering hit on every point.
I think this one smiple line said it all.....
THE UNITED STATES IS LOSING ITS SOUL
Thank for sharing. This was Pure Gold!!!
God Bless,
west-word
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Thank you so much for reading and commenting! I really do fear that we're slowly but surely surrendering our nation's metaphorical soul for diplomacy, and that's scary, especially since I'm soon going into the Navy.
-K
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GOOD LORD!
WOW! This is such a slap in the face from the very first word to the very last! I don't know where to begin because I'm still kind of in a state of shock.... (I knew all of this was true, but to just a-lot it all in one poem so short and quick, is just a heavy hitter, so to speak).
Your rhyming, was insanely good, flowed so well, no forcefulness was involved at all I can tell.
I can also tell, you are not afraid to mention the very most frightening truth so many others would shy away from. It is truly sad that all of this is true....
I commend you on this write... I'm still recuperating now heh.
Good luck in whatever you do in life, you certainly have the brain to go far!
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Thank you very much for your glowing words of praise!! They made my night =]
Thank you for reading and commenting!
-K
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This was a great read! It really showed "America the Beautiful left bleeding on the floor"- I really liked that part, by the way. Maybe someday we'll 'see the light'... Gosh, I hope so.
P.S. Do you mind if I show this to my Social Studies teacher? He would find it hilarious, for what reason I am unaware of...
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Thanks for reading and commenting! I hope so too!!
-K
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whoops.. I always do that... you are not only talented but I'm glad to know someone else thinks like this.I would really like to put this to music unless you already have.
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lol it's okay =]
You are perfectly welcome to put it to music as long as I get to listen to it first haha! (I won't nitpick about getting credit, you don't seem the type to forget something like that
)
Thanks!
-K
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You blew me away with this
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Glad you liked it, thanks =]
-K
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BRAVO! BRAVO!
WAy to write
and your right!
it's not really about
the politicians and politics
it's about us...we the People...
one by one to say enough is enough
and
individually reach out
roll up our sleeves
to make a small difference in our local communities
that united makes a large and powerful impact!
like a puzzle...if we all work on it
eventually we'll see the BIGGER PICTURE!
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Amen! Thanks for reading and commenting, and to quote someone wise, "Be the change you wish to see in others"!
K
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I love ya girl, but this work is so wonderful I'm going to go through it like a critic would, hopfully to better express my appriecation of it.
First off I love the title because if you were to read the Newspaper USA Today you can find any one of these stories about all the things that you write about.
The stories are so true today as they were when you first wrote this. "Rapists forgiven since they can slam dunk" statements like this ring through to all Americans because we all know who your talking about.
"Watch our flag float on the breeze
You can almost see her unease"
I love the pleding that this statement makes without actually saying it, you save that for the last statement which is where it belongs, well played.
And one of the best, no the best is the inclusion of the things that should mean so much to us as Americans that are being trashed: the flag, teachers, soldiers, "America The Beatiful" and Lincoln's statue, makes the whole thing that much more powerful.
Dear Niece I knew you could write and it keeps getting better so its funny how good you were in 10th grade. This is truly a magnum opus.
Rabbit
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THANK YOU UNC!!! <3 Kelly
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This is my all time favorite poem. I am just as disgusted by the way the nation is going these days. It seems each generation loses more values and morals than the next and it gets worst and worst. I was wondering if talking about the mother drowning her kids if you were talking about the mother drowning her kids and than getting probation because she had " PTSD". That always pissed me off so much. She should've got life. Great write and great read. Might offend some people, but than they may be the ones doing the stuff. Keep on writing and I will keep on reading.
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Yep, the one and same. Thanks for reading and commenting =]
-K
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and I will parrot Liam and say
this is absolutely phenomenal.
because powerful just doesn't seem to do this justice.
I think I will have to peruse through more of your writings,
because I like everything I have read so far.
~casey
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Aw thanks sweety =] Glad ya enjoyed it!
-K
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Kelly- great, powerful write. I can really hear the "THUMP" behind this piece. When reading it it actually had the same flow and meeter of old-school rap... Which I think is fitting since some of the best socio-political poetry was expressed through the original roots of rap in the eighties (long before this gansta-pop BS came about). Your message is clear, and I think expresses the views of most of the country... Why then is it that if a vast majority of people feel this way about our country that it doesn't change?
Sadly, drastic change in a society as large as ours will likely only be brought about by catastrophe. As a country we tend to unite best during the worst times, and tend to care least while things are status-quo. Look at 9/11 for example. For the first time in decades the nation rallied together and the government made sweeping reforms as a result of a monumental tragedy.
Until as a people we learn to take a proactive approach to things, we will continue to live in a culture of reactive reform...
Great write Kelly, very insightful.
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Thanks very much Josh, maybe one day all the wrong will be righted. One can only hope.
hugs
-Kelly
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powerful
deeply affecting and a ton of truth.. a grand piece of work my friend..
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Thanks for reading and commenting, glad you enjoyed it! =]
-Kelly
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Powerful. Powerful. It was captivating in its truth from start to finish. Yes. You did a fantastic job on this.
Write on.
~*~SP~*~
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Thanks so much =]
This poem means a lot to me!
-K
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You have got to be kidding.......
you had the entire world figured out......
Kellyyyyyyyy........this is so good..........
It is timeless........
Did your folks know ya wrote this at the time...?
I would have carried it with me and showed it off if i were them.......
Really phenomenal.....i wish you could really see how blown away i am by this.....
This would have been a sin to lose gypsy......
The chosen title was perfect.......
so socially... politically and poetically conscious you were ...and still are thank God...
i can see how you routed your way to Dylan early in your life...To say I am impressed would be stating the obvious.
God bless you always
little gypsy,
Liam
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Thank you Liam.... i'm just so glad i finally found it.... this is the only poem i've written that i can read and be affected by, the only one i am irrevocably proud of... this is my best piece, hands down. because it means something more than a love poem, it hits harder than a sad poem, and makes me think more than a philosophical poem. this is my best.
thank you so much for reading it and being the first to comment.
-Kelly
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