In the old, old, old forest,
on a chill afternoon,
as fair Autumn was breathing behind us,
did I say to you, "Love,
we must hide in the grass,
lest the king and his cohorts should find us."
So we hid in the ferns;
we were mischievous ones,
in that Eden ensconced by a tall tree,
and we knew not of Shame,
nor of Guilt, nor of Pain;
we knew not that our clothing was paltry.
As we lay there, we looked
high above both our heads,
and we saw the tall pillars above us,
and you said to me, "Yes,
yes these trees show indeed
that there IS great Godhead to love us."
"Ah, my love," I replied,
these trees hold up the sky;
they're the pillars that keep it from falling."
But you said to me, "Hush,
for the king's men ride past,
and I hear his fell trumpet now calling."
And so darkness arrived,
and we lay in the gloom,
'mong the ferns in the soil that marred us,
but that harsh Autumn cold
it did bear us away
'twhere those pillars could no longer guard us.
-D.B.
Author notes
This is a little more surreal than I usually do, which, I suppose, is okay. Just a little unusual. 
Make of it what you will.
Dan
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Hmmm, interesting...
I like the rhythm; that kind of rhythm is often found in limericks...and the way you used it with the topic and the feel of the poem creates a flavor of comic on top of the surreal... I really like the first stanza - I've never seen "tall tree" and "paltry" rhymed before - and I am alarmed by the presence of that king and his cohorts... 
good write, Dan 
♠ Lady Elinor
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How very sad ,beautiful and mysterious. I love the line "We knew not that our clothing was paltry". I love the first line and the use of old three times.
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Beautifully done. Kind of reminds me of the way the play "Children of Eden" takes the creation story. I like the last stanza in particular. Keep up the good work, Dan.
-Liz
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