Over the Gateway of Magic,
As I stepped its enchanted realm,
A nostalgic familiar feeling blew
within me and on sparkles of its fire
which were cleansing me of me;
I embraced my feeling of tranquility,
the sweet beauty of being fortunate…
Author notes
Thank to the Lord for this good feeling of being fortunate! Sometimes we are so fortunate that we forget to be thankful for it.
This is as an aye to dear Brother Dennis invitation
A contest entry
- Magic Gateway by The Poetic Bandits.
900 points, ended November 2, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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"cleansing me of me" - i like the recognition inherent in these lines.
nicely done.
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I embraced my feeling of tranquility,
the sweet beauty of being fortunate…
This is such a lovely write, my dear sister The brevity is stunning, and the last line is a beauty. Great job! Well done!
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Yah!
Thank you for returning and getting your poem in the contest!
The gateway led you to a state of gratefulness and gratitude for the blessings that are afforded you. We all need to be thankful for we are greatly blessed. Thanks for this sweet reminder my friend.
Brother Dennis
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Judges Comment...
Thank you so much for contributing this fine piece and glad you got it submitted in time, I saw that you had reserved and felt sure you would write for the contest
Overall impact: Excellent free verse, uplifting, wonderful last couplet, which could stand alone as an uplifting quote, although I do question the last word, should it be [fortunate]?
Line 4 & 3: is a mixture of present tense and past tense, if the end word of line 3 could be changed for [blew] instead of [blows] that would put it back on track I feel...
I like the inspiration you got from the picture and the good message it sends.
All the best,
~Lilac~
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Dear Lilac,
Thank you kindly for this nice comment you left for me. Yeah, I really wanted to participate in the contest but days got so busy that I felt being blocked with poetry and soft thoughts. Glad I broke the glamor and at last I'm in.
A big special thank for reminding me of my mistakes here. I'll edit them now. To tell you the truth, English is not my main language and although I try, sometimes I make clear mistakes like ones you mentioned.
All the best with you, too
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Being thankful expressed in such a serene majestic way...along with humility which is your personal trait that makes you so endearing.
Mom
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Oh my lovely mom, such a sweet comment here and so poetical, the special way you put your words together! Thankee for that
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you have penned such a beauty love. for i feel the essence in the flower grown.. such peace and tranquility will never stop the flames in life.. stunning dear one.. hugs always Angel♥♥
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Oh my dear! You are always encouraging! One of those great feeling of fortune is being a friend of you, hun. Love ya and Big Hugs
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and you are the beauty of a friend the picture held in heart♥♥
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Hurry, Hurry my friend...time is running out.
Brother Dennis
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At last I finished it and ah the contest is not being judged yet!
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