Holes burned by Memories

I got so close
Yet stayed so far.
Wanted so much
Yet put up a wall.
I wanted to know you.
I wanted to be your friend.
Yet I pushed myself away from you
Without knowing the damage I would do.
I have so many friends.
Just like you.
Friends I need
Yet I won’t let stay.

If I don’t talk to you,
I am sorry.
It isn’t personal.
I just can’t let you too close.
I don’t know why.
Maybe I am scared.
Of what will happen when you get to know me.
Or maybe I just don’t want to have to say goodbye to someone who means that much to me.

Was it wrong,
That I didn’t cry,
When we said goodbye?
Was it wrong,
To say I would keep in touch,
Even though I don’t know if I can?
Was it wrong,
To love you so much,
And yet forget you so soon?
I will try to remember,
But it may be too painful.
So in a year,
When you hug me,
And I don’t know you,
Forgive me.
I forgot you because you meant so much.
I forgot you because remembering you would be too painful.
I forgot you because remembering what could have been would be too hard.
It would be too painful to remember,
So I forgot.