Spider webs collect dew
in the dim mornings
like catching tears with tongues.
Cogs wheeze,
oil gone and dusting gears,
as even clocks cry
when they age and die.
Author notes
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A contest entry
- Even Clocks Cry: 30 words or less by Randomly Beautiful.
900 points, ended October 15, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Don't sugar coat what you don't like, let me know even if i won't agree.
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Awesome. The imagery is fantastic. I love how you've used the imagery of tongues catching tears. The imagery of spider webs with dew always gets me. lol. The topic you approached and how you did was so great, it was interesting and original. The flow was unhindered and allowed for easy reading. A very enjoyable poem.
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This is great. Thank you for the entry.
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Wow. Nice images. Well written. It gave me chills
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Thanks. Giving chills is a good thing. :3
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Two itsy bitsy suggestions, perhaps the comma after " dew " may be superfluos and perhaps instead of " and even clocks" maybe " as even clocks?" Imagery and emotion imbued to a tight word confine, well done, a poignant poem.
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Thanks for the suggestions, i took them to heart and changed the poem. I had originally intended the line after dew to be different, and never changed the comma.
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