hastily clouds pursue the fallen sun
then twilight, the hourglass that chases night
a cobweb colloquy till late we spun
from naked laughter to silence of blight
in quiet where mind lays its hands on qualms
your pale lit face cast a halo snow white
miracle works signing water on palms
cedar resin on a violin's bow
honesty warms a cold soul like holy psalms
you reap wisdom beyond the years you sew
planting hope-seeds in my barrenest field
the only rose in my garden I grow
silent my feelings hermetically sealed
nervous to allow my secret revealed
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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this flows well
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One hears a crescendo of emotions
rising and falling, even though
you attempt to seal them
inside. Visually and
rhythmically stunning!
M-C
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A lovely use of the prompt and yes I know keeping the line length/meter can be a tough task but it does bring so much to the rhythm and flow of a rhyming poem especially a sonnet. Your language use is exquisite also. All in all a beautiful poem.
I strongly encourage you to keep writing sonnets.
Z
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cool as and way romantic i enjoyed a lot glenn
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wow. you are a extremely talented writer. i love the rhyme. and i think you did very well on the ten syllable count. fabulous poem, it shows tons and tons of emotion! you really got your point acrossed in it. you should have been awarded with a trophy! its okay though, you did well. keep on continuing to write more!
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wow this sweet!! and so brillant!
Love and blessings
Rend
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Lyrical!
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Absolutely gorgeous imagery here... i'm utterly lost for words. (apart from these of course. hehe).
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Extremely well written
To me, your poem reads better, than any of the examples of this form I have read so far. Thank you for suggesting that I read it. Oh..you were right, this one changes my impression of your work. lol
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Oh!! I LOVE your interpretation of the prompt! Just excellent!
This reads smoothly and is thought provoking. I enjoyed reading this!
Best wishes,
K
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You are becoming something I can't resist...this is true art and beautiful!
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Your title says it all. Love and friendship need not be mutually exclusive. In fact, how can you truly love someone who is not your friend. I love this form of sonnet and I think you've done a wonderful job with this form. Best of luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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BRILLIANT
Can relate wholly with this,ah the nervousness and anticipation--but mine ended doused in a sea of heartless sewage unfortunately.Great writing!
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Goodness
you penned a beauty here my friend! not very familiar with the form, but it seems to me you pulled it off excellently..outstanding work big dogg!
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This is nicely good. Bravo.
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Emily should have stuck to fiction.
Young and wise? Grab her!
"The only rose in my garden I grow." I like that. It speaks of constancy and how one person can be let in past our guard. Secrets are nice for a while but eventually we want to tell them, which either creates a fire in their hearts or icicles in ours. But it's beautifully written.
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This is beautiful and captivating with original imagery. Your rhyme is well done and the meter flows like honey. In your notes you mention a "10 syllable count" restriction but I don't think that is necessary with a Terza Rima so you just may have raised the bar. Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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