Green leaves
blend into orange,
strangling branch terminals
before crisply falling
aground.
But how does autumn know
when
to admit defeat?
Author notes
Write a poem
in exactly 21 words.
There is no prompt.
A contest entry
- 21 by Connor Blackbird.
700 points, ended October 22, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest Best Prewrites:October 2009 by amaranthine lover.
2875 points, ended November 23, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest
Tell me what you dislike, so I can edit.
Comments
-
I really like that closing line - so much so that at first I thought it redeemed the poem. But it doesn't do anything with the first stanza, which itself doesn't add anything except that it does, in fact, establish that it's autumn.
'Falling / to ground' is a disappointment. Nothing makes it clearer that you were boxed in by the word limit than chopping out articles.
Still, thank you for entering. And I do love that line. -
-
falling to ground = being defeated.
I understand what you mean though, sorry to disappoint.
thanks for the thoughtful, polite comment
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