"Please leave a comment, I'll return the favour; promise"
My first encounter with the Orient was a sad mess
the menu read; cŕt tung, dung bing, wang toe
my tongue twisted over each word, I must confess
I placed my order playing “eeny meeny moe”
My friend, eager for an authentic experience
Requested the waiter to get the genuine thing
Drinking in the mysteriously, exotic ambience
She sat in the dim light enjoying the evening
It was unfortunately a feeling that didn’t last
The dishes were more bizarre than their names
Looking at them we wished we could get out fast
And wondered what had given them such fame
They had served us food such as Panda's eat
bamboo shoots glared at me from my plate
managing chopsticks was an impossible feat
I dropped more on the table than I ate
The noodles slipped out and slithered to the floor
Making a waiter skid and fly out of control
Hot soup splattered a smart patron at the door
His knocked out hat was replaced by the bowl
I could feel on me a hundred accusing eyes
and wished myself at McDees eating burgers and fries.
~~~~*~~~~
Author notes
I'm very honoured to have Collab with Pari Ali; my friend and “poetry mentor”… When I joined AP, I didn’t know much about poetry… her guidance has helped me to improve my work… ? I'm pleased to say that Pari has written and enhanced majority of this poem … hope this is the beginning of an end of her writer's block..… she’s an excellent published poet in her own right and inspiration for others...
http://allpoetry.com/Pari%20Ali
The poem was written with a good humour in mind and not to offend anyone...
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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So similar to mine. I am well enough a mess with any kind of food. And this inability to use chopsticks is a loud blow on my self esteem, especially when you are eating with people who learnt to use them before learning to hold a pen!
Write was simply 'authentic'
.
Next time we will go to Mc d's together.
-Swati
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Hehehe...great write! You are in your element here.Apart from the humour,it flows superbly. Not a word too long or too short; not a beat missed. The last two lines crown the rest of the poem perfectly.
Enjoyed muchly. Hope you did, too.(the experience, i mean!!)
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Well Done
I believe your poem is well done. I almost felt some discomfort in my stomach as if I was the person writing this poem. You carefully and fluently mapped out your words. I liked the last two lines maybe you should try to make them four lines like the rest of the poem. But a change at the end works very nicely too.
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there is such and elegance to an experienced chop stick user. One of my friends, a chop stick nazi, scowls across the wonton at me; Shakes his head and acuses me of shoveling my food into the mouth! But the indigenous hold the bowl to the mouth and rake it in!
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This is a funny, well-flowing, well-crafted and vivid write.
Wonderful.
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lol this was alot of fun to read
but its also true sometimes we do get put in this situation
you wrote this poem very well and i liked reading it thanks
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hahahaha...what was that...a dig at the chinese menu or a supposed good experience gone wrong...
loved it...its great to imagine the noodles and soup having a hard time with u or the other way around...
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The dishes were more bizarre than their names
Looking at them we wished we could get out fast
And wondered what had given them such fame
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OMG! Mina I cannot believe you actually found a cartoon that complements the poem so well
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