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What i feel like

It's times like these I think of you and wonder if you ever think of me
Your face, so perfect, your lips, so soft
And I wonder, do you remember me?
You danced with me in the moonlight
You told me you loved me
You kissed me, so deeply
Your eyes told me that you meant it
And now
You just act as if it never happened
I trusted you
I loved you
And now I miss you

Author notes

This is what happened to me, and I regret every moment of it, because he was just using me and it took me a while to get over it

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Comments


  • Denise 28
    October 14

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    It's nice you can turn something so bad

    In to such a good poem. I have been there to! I see your pain. You opened yourself up and found a way to express the greif. Great job! I hope you are over this guy!


  • Commodore Rouge
    October 14

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    The emotion is great, and it's very simple to see where you are coming from with these ideas. I thought these phrases were interesting, but in a good way:

    "You danced with me in the moonlight
    You told me you loved me
    You kissed me, so deeply"

    Those phrases remind me of Romeo and Juliet, and I like it when writers can make their poetry give readers those sort of connections because it leaves a longer-lasting impression.
    All in all, I think this is very nice. I would like to see some more imagery, perhaps, but that's just a thought. Nice work!

  • jackflashjess
    October 14

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    Good angst poem, well structured, try adding some pop culture references for a more contemporary style. Extend your face so perfect and your lips so soft with a similie, this provides further description and adds originality. Good write overall!