There is only one way to release the pain of my soul
I must write for you my fado allowing myself to sing
I am not Portuguese yet in the presence of Lisboa is where I belong
The voice of the crying guitars is the only thing alive to bring me peace
even so, my heart is heavy
I have no right to love it as I do
I have no right to this country, this city that gives me breath
Still I hold it upon a pedistal, the one of my existence, and it
beholds all pieces of my being when I must leave it behind
Of all the loves that have been taken from my heart, this one I know
will never leave, for the loyalty to those
that give to it their true soul, is forever
I am not Portugal, I am not Lisboa, in this life
yet my soul is an alley with no name,
it is barefoot varinas,
the waves of the sea,
even the prayer voiced on the knees of centuries from long ago
No I am not Portuguese, I grew up not on the streets of Mouraria
though the barrios of Lisboa hold captive all that I am, and the only way
to release the pain, is to sing my song for you
And this, is my Fado....
In a list
A contest entry
- give me your writes from october 09' by HereComesTheSun.
950 points, ended October 31, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 71 Countries by unknownpleasure.
401 points, ended November 2, 17 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What you desire most by sgking123.
700 points, ended October 28, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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This has inspired me to consider writing a poem about Lisbon, as I suffered an appallingly sad tragic loss there. So far I have written 86 (or so) poems in my "memories" sequence of sad epics but only two about the Iberian peninsular: the Costa Brava ( http://www.allpoetry.com/poem/5634867 ) and Andalucia ( http://www.allpoetry.com/poem/5651843 ). If you would care to read and comment on those poems, I would be tempted to dedicate my Lisbon poem to you.
I am pleased you like the Fado - I have visited several Fado houses in Lisbon and am very much impressed by this moving vocal genre. My favourite fadistas are Rodriguez and Mariza.
Congratulations on winning a gold prize in this contest, which I failed to do. -
I love that you are writing to Portugal, because it gives a sense of intimacy to your love for the country. Giving Portugal a nickname further emphasizes your attachment, emphasized in the translation of the word to "destiny." And the fact that you contrast your love for Portugal with the things that set you apart from natives (specifically in the fourth stanza when you say "I grew up not on the streets of Mouraria") tells the speaker that you have a deep connection with the country.
I can definitely relate to you, because though I am not hispanic nor spanish I love Spain and Latin America, and even incorporate the language into my work.
Overall, I don't have much to critique about this poem. I will say though, that where the line breaks can really affect the strength of a line--ending on "beholds" in line 8 could work better than just lingering on "it. Also, being nitpicky, but "pedestal" is the correct spelling...
keep it up!
<3 mg :
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First, well done on sneaking in Portugal - it will become my 73rd country in two days' time. As such it remains eligible for a trophy (so long as it doesn't take me the rest of the week to judge it!) - I'm looking forward to the fado (whether capitalised or not...) - and to saudade, but I think English does have a name for Lisboa! - Normally I'm a don't translate proper nouns kind of guy, but in well known cases... I don't live in Moskva, for example.
Pinicktyness aside, good strong piece and has a fair chance of medalling. As long as I'm not as lazy in judging as your adjective use in 'crying guitars'! -
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Your going to lose the tie-break by not having followed the rules, but well done!
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wow
he poem was euatiful.however, you did miss out on contest rules.the rules allow only poems that have a maxof six lines. anything beyond six lines attarct DQ. so hun you have time till 27th to replace this one with acceptable poem. -
thanks for taking the time to enter your great work.
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Now this is the soul of a poet on display.
Excellent piece of writing Dixie Dawn.
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beautiful, I understand.
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Dawn this is absolutely breathtaking. Pure beauty and devotion. You speak of this country so well, with so much love and passion. I just love
my soul is an alley with no name,
it is barefoot varinas,
the waves of the sea,
just beautiful and carefree. This was amazing my friend. I'm so glad you could be healed.
Blessings,
~Michaela~
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Lovely...
"My Fado" intrigues one's imagination, and leads one to think on transmigration and reincarnation. I can't imagine a person loving a place as much as this author does. Even the natives of that country can't show so much love to Her.
I have enjoyed the reading of "My Fado", and its magical emotions.
In gratitude and reverent admiration,
Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
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Nicely done.
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