It ran through the forest,
a soft rustle of sound.
It spilled out over the plains,
lapping at the mountains.
All in it path succumbed
to the inflection of nuances;
extending here,
withdrawing there.
It danced among the trees
and tripped out to the sea:
touching, creating,
finding a foothold in the earth itself.
The results swiftly becoming aware of its existence,
it continued flowing outward,
an ever-expanding force,
bending elements it created to its will.
All was perfect,
creation as beautiful as the creator.
Yet, the conductor winced.
A single sour note, out of place.
The music of life.
c2005 rous
Author notes
Just a drabble I converted into Freeform. It is based on LOTR in the Silmarillion.
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A critical comment is invited
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I have actually never read that one. I'm a big LOTR fan.
It is very Tolkien-esque. The last line is is quite profound.
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Thank you. I have never read the Silmarillion, but I do have it. It is pretty dry. I actually have another poem in a different time, slightly after the creation of the sun. Give it a try. http://allpoetry.com/poem/1040920
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I was confused when I first read this, but once you said it was based off LOTR it made much more sence. I just finished reading the Simarillion for the thousandth time last month, and this did fit it well.
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Thank you.
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perfect flowing piece which paints a beautiul picture of creation - love the final line.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
rous
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it was a pleasure to read
the imagery fluid and beautiful
and thought provoking too!
I thought you did a fabulous job
on this poem!
ears/Seattle
perhaps tha is the beauty
of our souls....
those single sour notes,
out of place, that encourage
us to laugh, weep, and grow.
Loved your poem
WELL DONE!
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Thank you. It does look good from that perspective. In this case, though, the single sour note was a dissident which would cause havoc in the future. Still, it applies to our lives as well.
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Wow. I love the imagery, and metaphor and I love the way the tone of this piece is conveyed. I like the line
"Yet, the conductor winced.
a single, sour note out of place."
That was a fantastic line, and it really struck me. I like this a lot. Great write. -
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Thank you for that. I love this. It is actually a drabble that I just converted, but it is still very poetic.
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