fate found a horseback hero
fighting forces of gravity
enforced by the disrespecting steed
bronzed skin of shirtless neglect
head ablaze of endless fringe
twisting.....turning
and there she was
silent on the horizon
a most inappropriate time
the child with staring eyes
he was spellbound
but why
slow motion.....
he was now airborne grace
with an earthbound reception
his eyes
fixed……on hers
her stare
haunting
her importance
immediate
how did he know………….he was a mere child himself
yet.............future knowledge would reveal a moment of prophecy
Author notes
I was 8 on the day we first met,she doesnt remember but it's still crystal to me
What did you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Oh my God Mark...this is so beautiful............I was blown away...my kind of writing...I am not expert thats for sure..a wannabee more like it...but writing is fun and sometimes a line has a hidden message...I find it facinating...as long as its not one of those riddles you know riddles dont you the ones that you know the answer is in the riddle but shit if you can find it...happens to me.all the time..
but I love challenges as well....this is so good. Mark..and you know what I believe you ..you did not forget it....and you reminded me very well.......so a great piece...no joke.......and cystal clear is crylstal clear............I know the feeling or emotion...........so well expressed a joy to read................Laura keep it up and send me some more wil you........lol.............have a good one Mark...who ever you are......I know one thing you are a poet........a fellow poet...i hear women get called poetes well it sounds like being a smurfette instead of a smurf....who cares??????? a poetess...for a female who give a shit.......I am just someone nothing special a lady who love writing...and given the tools and money I would have had my book done by now...not poetry though..I have a few things in mind...its my dream..and I suppose lots of other's as well...your friend in poetry....Laura
by the way thanks for leaving such wonderull encouraging words for me..it meant a lot to me...that you took out the time and for you to tell me what you thought of my crap stuff........lol..........no not really I liked those poems too..some I do...
actually I am lying i like all of them,,mistakes and all...I could care less if the dont have form or prosel..or metaphors....i just write...no knowledege of the proper way or what ever...thats why I write here...some one thinks it has no form...then so what it has nor form...i hate forms.....I like it my way...no specif
ic way.....so you made my day...........with your kind and believable comments....
and as far as fancy words......yup there out there but the average reader reads at grade nine level...........average......so I want everyone to be able to understand what I write...the freedom of writing how I want sets me free........and i need this....shit i can talk..........lol.............
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sensational response
absolutely sensational,you brought sunshine to my day....."the freedom of writing how I want sets me free".... put that on a t-shirt or poster,even your conversations are poetic genius
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Nice Depiction
Evident that this is about meeting an important individual in your life, but very nicely put in a unique western kind of way, i think thats very original of you, many people lack a theme in their writing which i think is important. by the first couple lines you still have that feeling of knight in shining armor out to nab his princess.
tragic.
beautifully done.
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sounds romantic
and its factually precise,I remember it so clearly but had no idea who she was...karma man karma
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Evidently she must still be very important in your life. That was really a hard impact for one so young. You made it so real. Very good.
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25 years march 30th
27 all told....this is a true story,i really was getting bucked off a horse the first time i saw her lol
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WOW...this is an awesome write...love the line...importance immediate
bravo
T
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thank you
for reading and taking the time to comment,hugely appreciated
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