Obsessions

My hands aren't clean and they'll never be
Not for all the times I've sullied them
My mind won't quiet this insanity
Not for all the times I've tried

Every seam has a purpose
But mine have begun to fray
I know I can't take much more of this
Corruption's my decay

My words aren't true and I'll never speak
For a true phrase is a dangerous thing
My interactions won't be more than meek
For I fear what you have to say

Swirling thought, hate filled words, glares like glancing blows
What I perceive
What you believe
They're not the same, you know?

My paranoia is here and it will never cease
Not for all the backwards glances
My hope is gone, too great the fees
For my madness was the greatest

Solitary is how I pass my time
Though you should know I am never alone
What rages through my mind's a crime
And on and on it drones

My dreams have withered and then died
For I dared to fantasize
My suffering cannot be denied
For I've begun to revel

Martyrdom provides a chance
An excuse for this depression
Every day I dance this dance
Its becoming an obsession

Its really time to make this stop
This filthy beating heart
But I live on, a ticking clock
Wishing an end, gaining a start