Hush my children do you hear the sound…
the demonic souls have begun to creep
arising in darkness, amassing in dust
to find their way to your haunted sleep…
The church bell tolls the hour upon us
slicing the night in ambivalent chords.
The chiming sings out in monotonous glory
to the souls of the masses left walking this earth.
With deep resonation each harmonic tone
sings a soft hymn to his sinister name.
Perched high atop the ramshackle steeple
sits a lone silhouette framed by a red moon.
He waits in silence observing the patrons
stumbling in and out of the Everly Bar;
humming a tune in his rapt contemplation,
knowing that one will not go very far.
She wanders out of the pub, her head in a daze,
not quite sure which way is home.
The dashing young man appears from shadows
as he glides to her side with a welcoming smile.
He introduces himself with a wave of his hat
holding out one arm to aide a lady in need.
The tipsy young beauty graciously accepts
with a kiss placed firmly upon searing burnt lips.
He grins to himself as he leads her away
golden eyes gleaming in the soft moonlight;
pleased with a catch no patron would miss
for he only feeds on All Hallows night.
Author notes
My ONE Halloween poem...
This isn't as gory nor near as gruesome as many writes I have done recently. I did this one to have a mysterious feel to it... to leave the reader guessing just exactly what he is.
Also... this poem was written with a "poem within a poem" concept to it... hence the rhyming of every other stanza. The rhyming stanzas will hopefully come of f with a more legend/folklore feel to them while the free verse stanzas should feel more like the filler of a story... I dunno I know what I was going for but don't know if I got it... hope you enjoyed 
Pic found here: http://lourey.deviantart.com/art/Movie-Man-103646680
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A contest entry
- ~HOLLOWS EVE and ALL SAINTS CONTESTS~GHOULS-GHOSTS-WITCHES AND GOBLINS COME JOIN VAMPS AND ANGELS WELCOME TOO!!! by Shantti.
775 points, ended November 1, 19 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How's it
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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I like the creepy and eerie setting this poem has. It's sort of a goth poem, good imagery that snares, a great poem and interesting read.
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Seriously good!
You had me at the semicolon, top form! The expression and cohesion are excellent, the feel nicely dark and intoxicating. Your imagery fit (nice pic) and the whole of your writ lends itself to music (with lots of gain on the guitar, of course).
This tale is Heavy Metal all the way!
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Hehehe. I'm glad you enjoyed it. And I'm really happy to hear this is heavy metal all the way
I think a lot of my dark writings are influenced by my enjoyment of metal and rock.
which what I think really leads the flow of my poems, so I'm happy to hear it lends itself to music too
Thanks for the fantastic comment!
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Having read through some of the commentary concerning Vampyres and serial killers, I would have to say that the line concerning feeding on All Hallows Night would point to something a bit more demonic in nature. There are many beings who only cross into our reality during this 36-48 hour period. Many of them are dapper and deadly. As is usual, stunning imagery. The use of the bells as a calling to this creature of the season is well done. There are many who go through the rote of religion without ever attaining anything resembling spirituality. One of the darker visions contained within speaks greatly as to why so much evil is looked away from.
"a catch no patron would miss"-many serial killers were never caught while they were killing prostitutes and street people, only when there was an outcry over the death of someone that society as a mass felt had worth were the killers caught.
Charles Ng
John Gacy
Green River
an
on
An excellent write that could speak to many of the evils in our world.
Peace
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You never miss a beat... not a single one my friend
You've hit the nail dead on the head again with every subtle detail. You never cease to amaze in your observance
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I feel that the depth of what there is to see is what is really going on. If there was nothing to observe....where would we be then? I only spew out what is on my mind. I read much more poetry than I comment on. I read and if commentary does not pop right up, I don't force anything.
Peace
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This is really awesome. In the end I get the feeling he's a vampire, but at first I was thinking serial killer. Very suspensful ! I actually love the title it has an eeryness to it that fits the poem. Awesome storytelling. Thank you for entering my contests
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wow
this is an excellent poem,
painted a really good picture with this story....
great flow through out..
really liked this stanza.....
The church bell tolls the hour upon us
slicing the night in ambivalent chords.
The chiming sings out in monotonous glory
to the souls of the masses left walking this earth.
With deep resonation each harmonic tone
sings a soft hymn to his sinister name.
Perched high atop the ramshackle steeple
sits a lone silhouette framed by a red moon.
keep up the great work
Jayde
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Great work. Amazing poem.
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excellent
write you have penned
you have an impressive quality in your work
keep it up... tis outstanding
like this stanza..
He grins to himself as he leads her away
golden eyes gleaming in the soft moonlight;
pleased with a catch no patron would miss
for he only feeds on All Hallows night.
good luck to you in the contest
thanks for the share
Darky
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WHAAAAA!!!!! Great piece of story telling here. I love the dark evening atmosphere you have created. And the poem within a poem idea really sets the tone. hmmmm...red moon huh?.....
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heehee
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Masterful Story-Telling
Steph, I loved every minute of this villainous tale. Like twelthknight, I am also in awe of:
"Perched high atop the ramshackle steeple
sits a lone silhouette framed by a red moon."
The image is so incredibly vivid and ominous. The red moon also takes on two meanings, that of a blood moon for Hallows Eve, or even of a blood red halo of a fallen creature. I also love the contrast between the actual vile menace, and his seemingly debonair persona.
"slicing the night in ambivalent chords."
This is a great example of your uncanny ability to drive imagery through creative verb choices and carefully chosen adjectives. In all of your poems I see these same kinds of lines that lend horrendously well to creating a vibrantly dark image.
"The dashing young man appears from shadows
as he glides to her side with a welcoming smile."
Here you have subtly imprinted the word 'glides' to further enhance his ethereal qualities. Again, in the details you have cemented your character and story.
The format you chose with a mix of rhyme and free verse works perfectly here. The flow is unassailable. As always Steph, you have imagined and written a phenomenal piece. Keep up the excellent writing. I will be a fan always!
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You always catch all my little quirks I throw into my poems I love using the combinations of unique verbs and creative adjectives it's what keeps my own poetry exciting to me... and as an added bouns hopefully keeps it interesting for the readers lol
Thanks once again for your wonderfully indepth comment... comments like yours are the ones I just LOVE to get
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Hey this is great Steph its definatly doesnt have the blood and gore like your other writes but its just as scary! The imagery is fantastic as per usual lol and my favorite lines where
Perched high atop the ramshackle steeple
sits a lone silhouette framed by a red moon
I love that "silhouette framed by the red moon" Great write, best of luck in the contest
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hehe. Those are my fave lines too
And I've been looking for a pic that would fit those lines since I posted this and I haven't found anything yet
lol
Soooo... if you find anything that's like a guy silhouetted by moonlight end it my way
Thanks for the comment Jade
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I really like your write it has such a mysterious feel I love it. The imagery you always capture is soo cool I just can not pick a best bit it is all great.
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