Find Me in The Mirror

Is this the face of beauty?
Diet pills and laxatives?
Shitting liquid until
My bowels ache
And all I've lost is one pound?

Is this the face of beauty?
Drowning myself in ice cream
And candy and cookies.
In my closet
Or alone in my room?

Is this the face of beauty?
Throwing my fingers down my throat
Until I feel the warmth engulf them,
And taking them out to unload myself
In my toilet?

Is this the face of beauty?
Sitting in tears on my bathroom floor
Dripping in my own vomit,
Eyes red, face scarred, voice lost
In the acid that's stuck in my throat?

Is this the face of beauty?
Starving myself for days,
Surviving on celery and tea.
Weighing myself ever hour,
And my hair lying in clumps inside my shower?

Is this the face of beauty?
Standing in front of a mirror
For hours, naked,
Grabbing phantom fat,
When my bones are all anyone sees?

Is this the face of beauty?
Lying to my family (that's gone).
Lying to my friends (we don't speak now).
Forgetting fun, forgetting to feel
And not even knowing
Or wanting to heal?